I am a 30-year-old half-Asian AFAB non-binary person who’s recently discovered their dom side. I have a lot of experience as a sub, but my newfound dominance has led to new desires.

I’m moving away at the end of the summer, but am looking for a submissive man who’s interested in worshipping and exalting me until I depart, and maybe on the occasions when I come back to visit or digitally after I leave. I’m non-monogamous and not looking for a romantic partner or any exclusivity. I’m in good shape, 5’10”, and I work in project management. I dress mostly femme and I live in the cities. I’m very sexual-health minded and I get tested regularly.

This all started with a very specific fantasy: going on a shopping trip to pick out a pair of new heels, having a man buy them and slide them on me, worship my feet, and then beg me to step on him. As most fantasies do, it developed from there—having my sub drive me around while I teased him, getting me manicures and pedicures then sucking on my fingers and degrading himself, or having him take me shopping for lingerie and sex toys he knows I’ll use with others, even sending him photos of their use. I love using someone in a way where they participate so actively in their own domination. I also love the idea of being able to walk around in a pair of heels knowing they came into my possession via an act of submission, or looking down at my nails to be reminded of how good someone was for me.

I looked into some subreddits to explore this fantasy further but mostly found findom spaces, which seem geared around being paid straight-up money and very frequently involve blackmail or pushing financial limits, and I’m not interested in those. No hate if you are, but for me, the point is to be exalted and adorned by a sub who’s actively helping me dom them through eager gifts and acts of service.

A list of stuff I’m into and have done, in no particular order: hair-pulling, praise, degradation (especially auto-degradation,) spanking/slapping, choking (light,) teasing/edging, cuckolding, stepping on you, verbal worship, foot/body worship, begging, and filming/photos.

I am less experienced with, but still curious about: pegging, more intense crushing/stepping, humiliation, denial, and bondage.

My hard limits are: scat/watersports, blackmail, blood/needle/knife play, CNC, caging, sounding, and lastly, anything involving my race as an aspect of kink/sex.

If it sounds like our interests collide, then please don’t hesitate to reach out. I look forward to chatting with you, if you’re out there.