(updated 03/15/23)

In the interest of save us both some time, I'll start with a list of potential deal-breakers.

• I adhere to and deviate from gender norms at my own discretion
  • I ID myself as enby for simplicity sake but I tend to be right at home among transfems
  • My anatomy is mostly unmodified for AMAB and it will almost certainly stay that way
  • My voice is relatively deep and strangers gender me as "sir" 90% of the time I speak; I don't have a pronoun preference but it's fun to see people switch it up
  • My wardrobe and demeanor spans from moderately fem to moderately masc, and I do sometimes succeed at confusing people about how they want to gender me
• I have a hard time being interested in men, but am willing to hear what you have in mind
• I am mildly autistic, which happens to make me kinda bad at non-verbal communication and excellent at explicit communication (though I have been known to overcommunicate) . This also makes me more blunt/honest than most people.
• I'm in favor of ENM as I think many people's needs are too diverse to rely on exclusive partners.
  • I've been seeing one partner who I'd count as my girlfriend, consistently since a couple of days after this post originally went live.
  • I've also been going on dates with other people, which I tell my partner all about
• I only recently became sexually active and have very little experience, and I might be sex-positive grey-ace despite my kinks. Arousal, intimacy, and orgasm would be fun to have, but I tend to be more interested in oral and toy play.
• I may not share face pics until we're already comfortable enough to consider meeting IRL. Feel free to check my profile for my neck-down pics from when I first started playing around with gender. I'm usually happy to share more recent pics as we talk and get more comfortable.

If you made it through the deal-breakers, here are the deal makers :3

My biggest kinks (these go both ways because I'm super switchy :D) are:

• bondage - rope or otherwise
• gags - including dildos or their live counterpart
• edging / orgasm control, short-term chastity/denial
• mild pain (clamps or other non-impact implement) that doesn't cause bruising/scarring
• breath play (very careful about this one though)

My relevant experience includes

• Studious observation in the local kink community where I went to university, and now in the San Diego community
• Some practical experience with rope, including self-tying, attending classes, practice with a handful of rope partners from the communities, topping in a couple of scenes involving rope, and more recently, regular rope play with one partner
• A handful of online-only dynamics mostly surrounding orgasm control/denial (I've been dom, sub, switch, a few times each, for up to several weeks at a time)

Whatever our relationship, be it deep or shallow, it will be very important to me to know how you feel about our interactions. I have a reasonable amount of time on my hands that I wish to invest in meaningful friendships/relationships, and I'd appreciate knowing that we're both satisfied with our time investment in one another, or that our time is better spent elsewhere.

My past posts in this subreddit also have some of my relevant interests, but my awesome recent adventures have made me change my priorities somewhat. Feel free to ask about anything that I've written previously.

I try to respond to all requests even if I don't think we're a good fit, but please give me something to respond to 😂 Tell me about what you're looking for, what you think we might like to discuss together, or why we haven't already met at a munch (if you're local). If you know or suspect we have met at a munch, feel free to find me directly on fet or discord! Otherwise, reddit chat is open!