Hi, switches of n4n! Not sure if there are many of you out there, but that's fine, I don't mind screaming into the void.

I was wondering if any of you ever find yourself doubting or questioning whether you're truly a switch? Or questioning if/which side you prefer? I've gone back and forth, but every so often something happens to remind me just how much of a switch I am. I've always thought of myself as one, but used to think I was more D-leaning until the last year or so. The submissive play I had tried was mostly just for fun and roleplaying and to try something a little different.

Then last year, my girl and I discovered gentle femdom and something just...clicked for both of us. There are many aspects of "regular" femdom that are absolute turn-offs for me (name-calling, for instance). But I learned there are a lot of typical subby activities that I enjoy very much - as long as the focus is on praise and positivity and not degradation or shame! As for my girl, she had dated mostly women before she met me and had always leaned more D with girls. She figured she was more submissive with me because I'm a guy...but she learned she can be quite dominant with men as well.

So I've been very much in "sub mode" for the last several months, and loving every second of it! And our play has been a lot more...intense... than it ever was the other way around. I did find myself missing the Dom from time to time, but I was having too much damn fun as a sub to really, uh, do anything about that. And because things have been more intense and fulfilling than they'd ever been before, I started to wonder if maybe sub was my more natural role.

Wrong again!!!!

My girl and I had a session planned a couple nights ago. We'd just bought some new toys and I was gonna try out several new subby activities I was very excited for. We are not 24/7 and I have no interest in being so, but I decided to play the sub all day just for fun and to help set the mood. Made breakfast, cleaned the house, massaged her feet while she watched TV, brought her whatever she wanted, cooked a romantic dinner with nothing but an apron on...you get the point..

Lady wants to start the play session off with a massage. That's fine, we've done that many times. I spend about an hour giving her a "real" massage, working on her shoulders and back and working on some knots. Then it turns a bit more sensual. A touch, a scratch, a light spank or two, a nibble (I'm not turning this into erotica, I swear!) Point being it was just a bit of playfulness. Teasing, mood-setting, foreplay, whatever you wanna call it. I wasn't trying to challenge the power dynamic in any way.

Then the massage was over and uh... I could immediately tell from her eyes and body language that my partner wanted something different (and yes, she did explicitly verbalize it too!) And even though I'd spent the entire day playing the perfect little sub boy and getting myself into the sub headspace, my mind-state turned instantly and I felt so excited to let the Dom side back out again! He'd been wanting to come out, perhaps a bit more than I realized.

I won't go into the details here (though perhaps I will in another subreddit), but even though I was very excited to try out some new subby activities, I think I may feel even more fulfilled from the session because it reminded me just how much I love and miss Domming too! And the best part is, it happened completely naturally. There is perhaps nothing I like more in the bedroom than switching from s to D or D to s, naturally, in the middle of a session, with very little warning. It's rare when it happens, but it triggers something in my switchy brain that just maxes-out that psychological feeling of fulfillment!

Dom, sub, and yeah even vanilla lovemaking. Don't think I could live without either of the three.

What say the rest of you switches?

(ps - don't worry, we have another date planned for my new subby toys :P)