It was a surreal experience, to hold his hand for the first time. Brush my fingers over his knuckles and feel the warmth of his palm. The trip back to his place was quiet, shy. There was no way I could have reconciled the idea of him as shy… as nervous. Nervous of me. I was the one with no experience, no social skills and no courage. It had taken so much talking to get me there, beside him in the car he’d waited to show me. Riding to the home I’d only seen in pictures but he was so proud of.

Drink offered and accepted, as we sank down onto the couch I tried to be sneaky about examining his profile. It wasn’t like I’d never seen it before, we’d shared pictures. I knew the line of his jaw, the swell of his nose and Jesus Christ those eyes. But he wasn’t looking at me. Indeed he seemed to want to look almost anywhere else and for the first half of the movie he picked out to put on (his favourite, I’d asked for it) he stared so hard at the screen that I was sure my worst nightmare had come true. He was disappointed. He looked at me and what he saw was… less than he’d imagined and there was no graceful way for me to extract myself and end this awful, itchy, uncomfortable experience for us both.

Around the half hour mark though, he bit his pouty bottom lip and oh so slowly let himself shift sideways and down. When his cheek came to rest upon my thigh I thought I might never breathe again. As he nuzzled my thigh softly my hands moved on their own. One to his shoulder, to stroke back and forth along his upper arm. The other… the other went to his hair and I sank my fingers into it as I had dreamed of doing a million times.

Perhaps another half hour passed that way. My fingers moved, slow and steady through his hair. He breathed and shifted just a little, his cheek pressed against the top of my thigh. His every breath seemed deliberate and controlled. Like he held himself in perfect stillness to avoid drawing attention to himself, as if my every nerve didn’t ache towards him and know exactly where he was.

I didn’t mean to gasp. It wasn’t an overly realistic special effect and I’d seen the movie before. Maybe I was just so overwrought I couldn’t keep the more mundane things under control anymore. The moment I did it he sat up and looked at me with those big eyes. In that startled, almost fearful instant I finally understood that he was nervous… That somehow, behind those eyes there was a man who wasn’t sure I really wanted to be there. One who was waiting for me to make my excuses and leave…

My hands shook, there’s no way to deny it. The trembled so bad if he’d been made of glass I wouldn’t have reached for him at all for fear of breaking him. But Iput my hands on his hips and urged him over, up and over. And he followed my urging. One leg slid over my lap and as he settled his weight across my legs I looked directly up into his face for the first time. He looked both incredibly small and larger than life, just as he always had. The knowledge that he was nervous didn’t diminish him in my eyes at all. In fact, I stared at his lips, his soft, sensual pout, and wanted only to suck on it… probably more roughly than I’d ever done anything.

That was always my secret shame. Sure, I was the domme, but I was so cripplingly shy that it barely made any difference… until I was looking at those lips. So close. He bit the bottom one and the sound that came out of me might well have been called a growl. His answer was a whimper and I moved one hand from his hip to the back of his head and guided him down into my neck. He leaned his weight into me. His breath warmed my neck, his arms tucked in between us, pinned. And there, as the arm I slung low around his back tugging him in tight against me, I could feel his haderning cock against my stomach.

We hadn’t even kissed. Barely done more than shake hands, but this was already the most erotic encounter I’d ever had. Having him warm and submissive in my arms… if nothing else had happened I’d have gone home beyond enchanted. Screwing all my courage I nuzzled along his jaw and then drew a soft warm line up his neck to his ear with the tip of my nose. He moaned softly and I squeezed him tighter. A moment more of courage… and I kissed just below his ear lightly.

He gasped.

“Is this OK?” My voice was raspy. How long had it been since we’d said anything? I couldn’t remember.

He just nodded and rocked his hips a little. His cock pressed into my stomach and I growled against his skin. His nod let loose a floodgate and I forgot completely that I was the shy one. I forgot I didn’t like my body. I forgot that my nerves and my fears and everything because every time I nipped and sucked and growled against that neck he whimpered or groaned and it eroded what was left of my self control.

My hand fisted in his hair, urging him to arch his neck back so I could get at it. Suck hard on his smooth warm skin and drown in the sounds he made. I could feel his hands flexing and eventually he wrapped them around my neck as I began to open his shirt. What I wanted, more than anything, was to send those fiddle little buttons flying. Pop! pop! pop! His warm weight and his moaning and the taste of his skin undid my control and who even knows how much I growled as I possessively exposed his chest to my mouth.

It was his whimper that drew me back to myself. Soft. Small. When I looked up at him he was trembling and flushed. He wanted to look anywhere but at my face. His hands clenched and unclenched against my back and I took a long slow breath to keep from flipping us so I could press him into the couch.

“… Is this OK…?” I asked again.

He stared down at me with those eyes.

“I… I don’t understand why…”

I blinked at him in confusion. I must have looked so comical. “Why…?”

“Why me?”

How did I always end up helpless? I was supposed to be in charge here. The domme. I was meant to know what I was doing, take care of him. And the moment he opens his sweet little mouth and gives me the big eyes I’m helpless again. Jesus, he owns me. I did the only thing I could think of. I let my hand slip to his cheek and cupped it tenderly. Made him look at me. Brushed my thumb over his bottom lip and watched it’s passage with rapt attention.

“Because you’re beautiful… you’re who I want.”