I felt some tugging and pulling of my panties and my tank top, and heard the sound of scissors cutting cloth. Yep, this was happening. What little clothes I had on me were being cut and removed.

"Wow, that's a nicely shaved pussy! No time to get a job, but always the time to shave your pussy! In any case, perfect for what I have in mind."

I felt his hands on my breasts and my pussy, rubbing, squeezing. Cannot say I was surprised. I had seen this coming quite clearly. But it was weird to not even be able to see what he was doing. Just to feel touch, but not to even know if it was his hand or something else. Not to mention the complete inability to move away, say anything, do anything.

"You're the hottest piece of ass I've ever seen, you know that? I've always thought that about you. Big boobs, big ass, but such a thin waist and so... kinda muscled, from all the dancing at parties... like a tiger or something. Firm tanned skin, and the face of a young Jessica Alba. You prolly don't even know who that is. Doesn't matter, your face is kinda covered now anyway, haha. You could've made a lot of easy money with this body and face of yours if you wanted, without pissing off your mother and me. A hot piece of ass, but such a terrible personality!"

This was, ironically, the nicest thing he'd ever said to me. Especially today, but also in general, as far as I could remember.

"When I was living with your mother... well, she was a quite understanding and accepting woman. But I knew that if I touched you, she'd go ballistic. No matter how rude you were, I couldn't even give you a slap on the face. No matter how teasing you were, strutting your stuff, I couldn't even give you a squeeze. And you were right there every day, every night. I couldn't stand it after a while."

All of the exes of my mother had hit on me at some point of time. That made them more malleable and controllable. I could lead them on, even got some presents from them at times. But JD, he had always just been angry with me, berating me, telling me off. I'd always just thought that he hated me. That made it even more weird that he was confessing his crush for me now, while fondling my breasts.

And then, suddenly, there was an explosion of pain coming from my breasts.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!"

I had no idea what happened there, but it was absolutely unbearable! Maybe he pinched super strongly my nipples, and then twisted them? I had never felt anything like this before.

Still reeling from the pain, I felt his touch on my pussy. And then, an explosion of pain there as well!

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!"

It was a worse, but similar pain. Maybe he had pinched and twisted my labia...

His hands moved back to my breasts. This time, I was a bit more prepared for what was to come. But he made it last much longer! I could feel now that my nipples were being crushed, and then pulled and twisted in different directions. It lasted a fucking eternity.

Then back to my pussy. And same thing there. Pinching, crushing, twisting, pulling, is what I imagined to be happening there to my labia. And again it was a fucking eternity. I couldn't stop myself from doing the closest thing to screaming that I could do, which was:

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!"

A feeling of panic spread over my body. It was not easy to know what it was, in the complete blackness in which I was, and overwhelmed with staggering pain. But today I had already learned to recognize this feeling of panic. I was suffocating. Because I had bent forward in an attempt to lessen the twisting and pulling of my most tender parts, and so the strap around my neck had gotten super tight again. And because I was spending too much time nose-screaming, and not enough time breathing in, and breathing in was a time-consuming activity with the huge gag and with the tiny breathing holes.

I was beyond done with this whole nightmare. But the combination of sharp pain and suffocation panic put me in a state of very high lucidity. I realized I had to do my best to focus on standing still and on breathing, in spite of the pain.

In this state, I also realized that JD was doing this deliberately. There was nothing accidental about the way I was tied up. He knew I would realize that I was doing the suffocation to myself, by moving and nose-screaming. He knew that I would be quite upset at myself for making my situation so much worse with that. He wanted to hammer into me the idea that my punishment was my fault.

And I bitterly agreed with him! I had been living my life in a way that was making so many people very upset at me, about one thing or another. I had known that trouble would come eventually. But I had been stuck in inertia or something else.

It was so beyond frustrating that I couldn't speak to him at all. I couldn't explain to him how what he was doing was probably thousand times more cruel than he intended. I couldn't tell him how some of it didn't feel safe in the slightest! But I also couldn't even score some small positive points by telling him about the things I was sincerely agreeing with him about! And I couldn't tell him that I really needed to pee, at this point!

After I don't know how long of pinching and crushing and twisting, there was a short pause, and then I heard a SMACK!

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!"

I had no fucking idea what this had been, but it gave my right breast much stronger pain than the previous torture. Then another SMACK! And the same happened to my left breast. Oh no, fuck, I knew what would follow. SMACK! And my pussy was also burning with this much stronger pain.

Once when I was at the dentist, for some reason the injection didn't work at all. I felt the full undiluted pain when my cavity was being cleaned with the horrible drilling machine. I was lying there on the dentist chair, paralyzed aside from trembling and sweating.

When the SMACK! hit my pussy a second time, and this time landed on my clitoris, the pain was the same like that time at the dentist. But it was down there instead of in my mouth. I was paralyzed like a butterfly through which a needle had been inserted. Stiff and just trembling.

---

Countless SMACK!'s followed, and then WHEEZE!'s, and then CRACK!'s, and BANG!'s, and WHACK!'s, some burning, some stinging, some sharp, some dull, and it was getting worse with every hit. Sometimes the pain paralyzed me, sometimes it made me convulse, and in both cases breathing was an extreme challenge. I thought I would pass out, and I wanted to pass out, but the combination of sharp pain and of suffocation panic was maintaining me in that weird super lucid state. At some point of time I peed myself, but I didn't even care about it, and apparently JD didn't either, as he didn't even comment on it.

One idea I couldn't live with was that this extreme torture had no meaning. I needed it to have a meaning. JD also wanted it to have a meaning. He wanted me to understand certain things. I also wanted to understand those things, to make the whole thing at least meaningful! So I was repeating to myself, in the loud resonance of my hooded head "This is all my fault! This is how I made my mother feel! And I didn't need to hurt her! So I deserve this!"