An orgasm, a wonderful thing. It is ecstasy. It is exquisite.

But it is no longer mine. It is yours to bestow or deny. Your tool to demonstrate control. To show your mastery over my heated flesh.

You use it to make me plead. To hear me beg. When I am tired, exhausted by your use you use it to show me there is always more. Always another orgasm you can drag from me.

Or you can deny. You can take it away. Keep it close, deny me, show me the edge. Over and over and over. The edge is always further than I think I can travel. Yet you take me there faster with each cruel journey.

It is the journey not the destination. That's what you tell me when I beg. I beg to be allowed to arrive after days of travel.

The absence of orgasm can make me beg. Not just with my words but with my body.

I beg with the acts I perform for you. If I feel shame later, if I feel humiliation. Then I know it is worth it when you gift me orgasm.

I am forbidden from crafting my own orgasm. Not unless you tell me to make my body perform. Those times are not for me. Those orgasms are for the entertainment of others. You let your guests watch.

Even if my body is not ready I make it ready with my hands. I deliver my orgasm when instructed. I never fail. I come when summoned, I cum when ordered.

You punish me more effectively with pleasure than pain. An orgasm, it's delivery, it's denial, it's ruination. Those things make me sob more loudly than the clamps or the strap.

You take me to my begging place faster with the promise of orgasm than the lash of the whip.

You have many cruel instruments in your toolbox of pain and pleasure. You have used them all on my willing flesh. None break me to you faster than the orgasm.

I write this in public. I am clothed and demure. Strangers sit around me. They do not know I have the wetness of denial pooling between my legs.

Tonight when I am alone may I?

May I have permission?

I will savour it. Draw it out. Prolong it. I will not waste it. It will not be quick or convenient. I will not make it easy for myself.

I will perform. I will draw it from myself with shameful acts. I will earn it with the depths of my submission.

The orgasm will have me naked. It will have me soiled. It will have me kneeling. It will bring me to tears.

And when it ends I will thank you.