“Desperate Times”

You’ve heard all about the Casual Friday shenanigans. I’ve even told you about the darker, more depraved aspects of working here. What I haven’t told you about yet is how this all started.

You see, only a year ago, working at this company was essentially no different from any other like it. You clocked in, sat at your desk, did your work, gossiped at the water cooler and then went home. Rinse and repeat, day after day… the same boring old shit! Not the most inspiring environment, to say the least, and Management had been taking notice. Their profits had been in decline for some time, along with staff morale and retention rates. Something had to change, and they needed to get creative if they wanted to turn things around.

It was early in the morning on a Monday in January. The snow was falling outside the boardroom, high above the bustling city streets below. There was almost no wind, and it was quiet — far too quiet. Larry (the CEO) was sitting at the head of the table, along with Jeff (the CFO), Heather (the HR director) and Chris (the marketing director). Fred (the security director) was the last one to enter the room.

“Sorry for the delay, folks. There was a little… situation that demanded my immediate attention.”

“Let me guess,” Heather replied, with an eyebrow raised. “It had something to do with Molly?”

“That little harlet is always getting herself into some kinda trouble, isn’t she?” Jeff interjected.

Larry raised his hand in the air. “Alright, let’s not get carried away here. She’s one of our best people, after all.”

“That may be, but she really pushed the limits this time,” Fred replied.

“What happened?”

“Well, according to the schedule, Molly was here yesterday, supposedly working some ‘overtime’. We never would have suspected otherwise until a silent alarm got tripped in the archive room.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be secure?”

“Well, yes — usually, it is. She has clearance to access it, after all. The gentleman she was in there with, however, does not.”

“And who is this ‘gentleman’ you’re referring to?”

“Well, that’s the interesting part — he doesn’t even work for us! Apparently, he’s one of Molly’s clients… for her side gig.” Fred smirked and looked around the table at the bewildered faces surrounding him.

“Well? Are you going to make us guess?” Jeff replied, impatiently.

“She’s, uh… she’s a dominatrix.”

The whole room burst into laughter for about half a minute. Finally, Larry regained some composure. “Wait… you’re serious?”

“I’m afraid so, sir. One of my guys caught them in the act.”

“What kind of act, exactly?” Heather asked, with her eyes narrowed and her finger tracing her collarbone.

“Jesus… are you really gonna make me rehash this? It’s all in my report.”

“And I’m sure you were very eloquent, but I’d rather hear the story directly.”

Fred proceeded to describe a very kinky, very depraved role-play scenario that Molly had been playing out with her client. She was pretending to be a spy, there to coerce company secrets out of her… victim. She had tied the man up to a water pipe and had been thrashing him about in all kinds of ways, over all parts of his body. She had gotten rather carried away, causing him to yelp out just a little too loudly. This triggered the alarm and, shortly thereafter, brought their fun to an abrupt end.

“That’s… wow. Quite a story. So, where is this guy now?” Larry asked.

“I just released him from the security office. He pled ignorance, and I believed him. He didn’t see anything that could compromise us from where he was sitting, anyway. Safe to say that he won’t be coming back.”

“And what about Molly?”

“I told her to wait at her desk.”

Larry sighed. “Alright. Get her in here, please.”

“Yes, sir.”

Fred walked out of the room and returned with her a few moments later. “Sit down, Molly,” Larry ordered.

She stared down at the table, wide-eyed, with her hands folded on her lap. Her trepidation was permeating the room.

“You’re in a lot of trouble.”

“I’m sorry, sir! I know I crossed a line, but if you would just give me a moment to expl-”

“Do I look like I’m interested in an explanation?” Larry fired back.

“But sir, he paid me five thousand dollars! How was I supposed to say no?”

“I bet you ask yourself that question a lot,” Jeff interjected, once again, rolling his eyes. He was even more displeased with Molly than Larry was.

“That’s a lot of money, but it doesn’t excuse what you did. You know full well that only authorized personnel are allowed in that room.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Effective immediately, I’m suspending you for two weeks, without pay. I suggest you use that time wisely.”

She sighed. “Yes, sir.”

“You’re dismissed.”

Molly quietly shuffled her way out of the room, pouting, with her head hanging low. Everyone was silent until the door closed behind her.

“What the hell are we gonna do about this?” Jeff asked, in a heavily exasperated tone. “Honestly, I don’t think this is going to stop just because you suspended her. After all, this ain’t her first rodeo.”

“It’s not even her second rodeo,” Heather replied. “And we haven’t even gotten started on all the various indiscretions of the other employees.”

“It’s all coming to a head. Our people are over-stressed, over-worked and barely motivated. Something’s gotta give here!” Jeff proclaimed.

“Chris, you’ve been quiet this morning. Do you have anything to add?” Larry asked.

“Now that you mention it, there is a little something that I’ve been cooking up over the last few weeks,” he said, with a sly grin, as he paired his laptop with the TV.

“I’m listening.”

“Okay… here’s what I’m proposing: Instead of punishing our people for blowing off a little steam, as it were, we take all that energy and channel it somewhere more… productive.”

“And just how do you plan to make our employees’ sex lives productive, Chris?” Jeff asked, with more than a little disdain in his voice.

Chris tapped on his keyboard, cuing up a slideshow. “I call it: Casual Friday!”

“We already have that.” Larry replied.

“Not like this, we don’t. This is a new kind of Casual Friday that will be unique to our company. At the end of each month, not only will people be able to dress comfortably, but they will also be able to… undress comfortably.” Chris raised an eyebrow and looked around the room.

“Hmm… sounds interesting,” Heather said, in a mildly seductive tone, as she bit her lip. “But why just once a month?”

“I can answer that,” Jeff replied. “If we did this more often, people would stop caring about their work! We need to give them something to look forward to.”

“Spot on, sir!” Chris continued with his presentation, outlining all the key points and ground rules. The other executives were smiling, nodding and sharing quizzical looks amongst themselves.

“Now, in order for this plan to be well-executed, it will be a good idea to do some… renovations.”

“What kinds of renovations?” Jeff asked.

“To start with, the bathrooms should have showers installed.”

“Okay, I think we can find money for that.”

“We’ll also need to put down some vinyl flooring to make… cleanup easier.”

“Hmm… we’ll have to put that off for a bit, at least until our numbers start trending upwards. Besides, we do have a professional janitorial crew on staff.”

“Fair enough. Anyway, another important point here is that we don’t want Casual Friday to get boring and repetitive. After all, that’s mainly what got us here in the first place. To this end, I suggest that there be some kind of regular Main Event with a specific theme. It could be planned in advance, or it could be a spur of the moment thing. Either way, it gets our people more engaged in company culture and, of course, gets their creative, uh… juices flowing.”

“Well, well… Chris, I was doubting you for a minute there, but I think I’m sold.” Jeff stood up and shook his hand. “What do the rest of you think?”

Larry followed suit. “I think this is yet another reason why you’re the best in the business. Make this a top priority!”

Chris grinned from ear to ear. “With pleasure, sir!”

“There’s just one problem that I can foresee,” Fred interjected.

“What’s that?” Larry asked.

“We’re going to have to find a way to keep this thing contained. I have a few ideas that I need to workshop. I may have to hire some more people, or at least promote them.”

“Good thinking, Fred. Anyone else?”

“All I can say is that this is going to do wonders for our morale situation.” Heather replied, gleefully.

“Okay, I think we’re done for today. Let’s reconvene next Monday and see where we’re at.”

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One week later…

The senior staff were gathered in the boardroom, once again. The energy in the air was noticeably different — It seemed as though, for the first time in several months, they were optimistic about the future.

“Alright, people,” Larry announced. “Let’s get this show on the road. Chris, we’ll start with you, since Casual Friday was your idea.”

“Thank you, sir. There’s one important amendment I want to make to the policy changes I proposed last week. Fred and I have discussed this at length, and we both agree that, in addition to signing a non-disclosure agreement (NDA), each employee should be required to perform in a kind of… audition to prove to us that they’re on board with it.”

Heather was loving this new development. Her eyes fluttered, and she instinctively arched her back, already fantasizing about the possible formats for what Chris was proposing. “Ooh, tell us more!”

“Well, basically, we want everyone to show us that they’re willing to go all the way and that they don’t have any reservations, moral or otherwise. In order to make the process impartial and transparent, it’s my opinion that the auditions should be conducted in the following manner: We, the senior staff, will act as judges. We will watch each audition and give it either a passing or failing grade. Each employee will be paired with a partner of their choosing, preferably someone who also works here.”

“What if they prefer someone who doesn’t?” Heather asked.

“Inter-office romance at our company is already quite common, so I don’t foresee that being an issue. We can deal with it on an individual basis, if and when it happens.”

“And what if I don’t just want to be a judge?” Heather was letting her imagination run wild and wasn’t even trying to hide how turned on she was.

“You’re laying it on pretty thick. Is your job not satisfying enough for you?” Jeff retorted, sarcastically.

“Not as much as you might think.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to side with Chris on this one,” Larry said. “We have to maintain some separation from our employees and fraternizing with them in such a… direct manner will compromise our impartiality.”

Heather sighed. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. I will still very much enjoy watching.”

“I’m sure we all will. Alright, I think we can move on to our next item now. Fred, let’s hear about what you’ve been up to.”

“Okay. While I agree with Chris that the measures he already discussed will be effective in handling most of the potential future issues, I propose that we create a Damage Control team within the security division, dedicated to both preventative measures and post-incident response. It will be clandestine in nature, and their identities will be known only to ourselves and other members of the team. My rationale here is that we don’t want to spoil all the Casual Friday fun by having our people constantly worrying about whether or not someone’s spying on them.”

“Excellent work, Fred! What are your personnel requirements?”

“I’m recommending that it be a five-member team. Four of the slots we can fill using our own people, but I will have to hire an outside consultant to lead the team and provide training. I will have a list of candidates on your desk by the end of the week.”

“Very well. Chris, I want you to work with Heather to finalize the company policy amendments. The marketing strategy I will leave at your discretion.”

“Sounds good, sir!”

“We’re almost over the finish line, people! Let’s kick things into high gear.”

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