This is the first "official chapter" of a series I am planning to develop going forward, as well as being my first real attempt at stand alone erotica. It is based on This previous post which served as a preliminary outline for the character and situation the series will be centred around. It is rather dark and twisted, having been based on a role-play I had explored with a partner a good while ago, and it perhaps is not the faint of heart... Any feedback is welcome!

A Rude Awakening

I'm floating in a heavy soup of swirling, fluid visions. The snapshots from my past a mix of vivid and indiscernible images echoing across my awareness like a disorganized slideshow; Walking out on stage for one of my many piano recitals, looking out into the crowd and seeing my mother and Steven sat in the front row, both of them giving an encouraging wave as I took my place at the bench; The smell of pancakes burning on the stove and the sharp sensation of the burn I received on my palm as I had rushed to shut off the burner; The time Steven had taken us out of state on a long road trip, sitting in the backseat of his speeding car while my mother sat in the passenger seat in front of me, Steven driving steadily down the highway as I lazily gazed out the window. I had imagined I was running as fast as the car was as it traveled across the open desert landscape, my head having rested comfortably on my folded arms as we made our way towards the coast; The feeling of joy as I hugged my childhood dog tightly to my chest, his fur warmed by the sun and his tail wagging happily as we played blissfully in the backyard while the summer sun beamed down on us; I even saw myself walking across the stage at my graduation, the flash of the hired photographers cameras dizzying me as I shook the deans hand while he handed me my diploma.... Then came one where I was curled up on the bed of my freshly decorated college dorm, reading the text my mother had sent me explaining how Steven and her had decided to move to Europe the very same week I started my classes. I recalled the feeling of abandonment and hurt sitting in my gut like a lead weight, scrolling through the paragraphs of apologetic explanation she had hurriedly typed out between moments of packing up the house in preparation of the sudden move. I hadn't understood why she hadn't had the courage to tell me in person when her and Steven had helped me unpack. The promise of her close support while I went into my first year of college had been ripped away by the abrupt change. I hadn't even replied to her, having tossed my phone to the side as I buried my face into the pillows and cried myself to sleep... That one had certainly been the most recent, but it was equally as dreamlike and distant as all the previous... What all of these snapshots had in common was that they were completely devoid of Him. It was if, in my induced unconsciousness, my mind had completely blocked any specific recollections of the man whose presence and entry into my world had sent my life careening down the twisted path I was now set upon. He was simply a dark shadow hanging over everything; indescribable, yet ever present and all encompassing...

My eyes flashed open with a start, gasping in a deep breath of air as all of my sensory perception came back to life. I recognized the touch of soft linen pressed against my naked back and the touch of a soft sheet tucked nearly all the way up to my chin, covering my apparent nakedness. I tried to move but found myself tightly restrained, becoming aware of a series of firm straps across my full chest, forehead, and just above the knees on my legs. I let out a soft whimper of fear, adding a single feminine tone to the regular rhythm of a beeping heart rate monitor that dominated the otherwise silent room. I felt a thin straw sitting stiffly in the corner of my mouth, straining my eyes to my left as best I could in an effort to follow the length of tubing it was connected to. It snaked up a stainless steel bar, presumably mounted on rollers to the side of the cot, before connecting to a clear plastic bag hanging off the arm of a thinner metal appendage. "ELECTROLYTES" was printed on its side, the yellow liquid snaking down the length of the hose before being abruptly held up by a one way valve. I sealed my lips around its tip and sucked in tentatively, feeling the near sickly sweet taste of lemon hit my taste buds. The syrupy substance hit my tongue and I became acutely aware of how truly thirsty I was. Closing my eyes, I greedily swallowed down several full mouthfuls before stopping to catch my breath... "How long have I been laying here?" I thought, my memory still very foggy. I made a concerted effort to reach back in my mind, trying to piece together a clear timeline that had lead me to this point. My eyes remained clasped shut in purposeful thought as I began to recollect, my brain still swimming after waking from m....

I saw myself sitting at a lavish dining table covered in a crisp white cloth. In my hands I held a crisp, single page contract printed out on stiff card stock paper. I remember Him sitting across from me as I made my way down the page, my eyes having flicked up to meet his penetrating gaze a number of times as I did. My cheeks flushed red as I recognized his, by this point familiar, hunger burning behind those bright blue eyes of his. We had been out at the lavish restaurant celebrating our first in person meeting, having previously spoken online for a couple of months after I had responded his ad on the fetish dating site. He had been searching for a submissive whom was interested in surrendering themselves fully to his will. One that would take a leap into an all encompassing roll he had well mapped out in his ad. A roll that would become inescapably permanent, for whomever decided to take that leap... We had met at the perfect moment for an offer like his to take root deep in my soul, speaking to a part of myself I had long kept locked secretly away from the world. My first semester of college had been a near total disaster, having sequestered myself in my dorm as I sunk into a deep depression. I had felt utterly alone following Steven and my mother leaving for Europe, leaving me totally alone in the country as an 18 year old freshman embarking on this next step in her life. I had come close to failing almost all of my classes, my grades barely sufficient to carry me through to the next semester. Since I had no home to return to over the break, I spent the majority of the holiday break alone in my dorm. It was during that time that I had created my account on the fetish dating site. Having always held a very closeted interest in the BDSM world since I had first entered puberty, my loneliness had driven me to delve deeper into parts of myself that I was now, theoretically, old enough to carry out into the world. I had spent countless hours during my early teens with my nose buried in my phone, scrolling through page after page of horridly lewd fiction, imagining what it would be like to experience the horrifically degrading and exciting things the characters I read about experienced themselves. It had certainly warped my burgeoning sexuality into a mess of terribly twisted fantasies, eventually metastasizing into me taking my first step towards experiencing those desires in my own reality... His offer had been relatively straightforward, for the most part. He had been purposefully vague on many of the specifics, but all in all it had boiled down simply to this:

Surrender. Surrender Mind. Surrender Body. Surrender Soul. Surrender to things that will change you forever. Surrender to me the deepest and most intimate parts of yourself. Surrender your own wants, needs, and wellbeing and allow them to be supplanted with my own desires. Once agreed to, this Surrender will be inescapable and permanent. I will transform you. I will mold you. I will break you. You will become the object and focus of my darkest intentions, but you will also be unburdened from everything the world lays on your shoulders. You will be restricted, but you will be free. You will be taken from, but you will become whole in a deeper sense. You will be ripped from the world, but you will be transported to a new one... If this is you, you have only to fall back into my offer as it has been laid out.

I had replied to him almost immediately upon reading it. My imagination running wild after his direct language had touched a part of myself I still couldn't readily define, my fingers hurriedly typing up a message reaching out to him before my rational mind could put up any logical barriers as to why it was a horrible idea. I was enmeshed in the fantasy of being able to let go so fully and completely. He had been pleasantly surprised by my keen interest, clearly amused with the naivety that I displayed while questioning him during our months long correspondence after my first having replied to his offer. Despite his clearly twisted nature, he had treated me with absolute openness and honesty. He was consistently clear that he had no desire to accept a Slave, as he had begun referring to the proposed role, unless she was absolutely determined to surrender everything she was, and ever could be, to the vision he had in his mind. During our 2 month back and forth online he had put me through an in depth screening, sharing with him the most intimate and personal aspects of myself as he probed into my psyche, undergoing several personality tests, submitting to him the results of an in-depth medical screening he had arranged for me at a local clinic, and even providing him with all my banking information, college enrolment details, and photocopies of all of my available identification. By the end of the months long back and forth, he came to possess absolutely everything materially and immaterially about me that I could offer him.... At that point I still hadn't even learned his name, though I had become familiar with his deep voice when we had spoke on the phone and knew he was certainly numerous decades older than my mere 18 and a half years. He spoke at length about how impressive he found my willingness to open myself to him and be vulnerable at such a young age, praising me for my courage to delve into my desires with near full abandon. When he had finally agreed to have us meet in person, I knew for a near certainty that he was as taken with me as I was with him....

Signing the contract in the open dining area had felt like a flimsy formality by that point, having fallen completely under the spell of his physical presence when I first laying eyes on him. He had dwarfed my lithe, 5'2 frame as he stood at nearly 6'4. His piercing blue eyes, broad shoulders, and relaxed posture as he stood waiting for me by his reserved table carried a distinctly masculine aura of confident purpose that had made me weak in the knees. He had greeted me warmly, leaning forward to embrace me with his strong arms before pulling out my chair and urging me to sit across from him, having quickly complied while my cheeks flushed red with anxious embarrassment. To any outside observers it would have likely appeared that a father in his late 50s had taken his college freshman aged daughter out to dinner, the only thing perhaps giving pause to that image would be the tight fitting red dress he had mailed to me the week previous that I then wore for the first time in public. I had also worn a pair of 4 inch black heels, a thin black choker, and carried with me a simple black clasp that held my ID and payment cards. The conversation had been somewhat limited as we had eaten, having gone over so many specifics in great detail in the months passed, the only truly new piece of information I had learned was that his name was Raymond FitzRoy, though he had made it clear during the course of our conversation that he wished for me always address him as "Daddy." I remember a warmness washing over me the first time I had referred to him as such, thanking him softly as he had handed me the simple contract, followed by an expensive looking black pen. I remembered hovering the pen above the dotted line after having placed the contract down on the white linen in front of me, a few moments of anxious hesitation hanging in the air while I sat on the cusp of the monumental decision, broken by a simple clearing of his throat which encouraged me into quickly signing the document. I recall his beaming smile as I looked up, handing him the paper and pen as he told me how "proud" he was of my decision. He had then placed before me a small glass of what looked like red wine a server had brought to him earlier, insisting that I drink it... I had looked around the sparsely populated dining section, worried about being caught drinking while being clearly below the legal age. His soft chuckle and simple reassurance that "It would be fine" was enough to spur me into action, taking the glass in my left hand and tentatively drinking it all the way down until it was gone. I had made my choice...

That drink was the last stable memory I could find, my eyes opening once again as I brought myself back to the present moment. Everything that had happened after that glass of wine was yet entirely unknown to me, the only clues as to what may have taken place while unconscious would be found by doing a full accounting of what was available to me from my restrained position on the bed. I began to do an accounting of what I could perceive...

My Vision. I could see only white ceiling tile joining into the white wall at a 90 degree angle, the bed I lay in clearly butted up against the wall of a seemingly clinically clean hospital room of sorts. The bag of lemon flavoured electrolyte juice and medical tubing leading to the corner of my mouth bolstered the theory that I was in some kind of recovery room. "Had I been in an accident?" I thought to myself...

My Hearing. The periodic beeping of a heart rate monitor, the low buzz of a room fan somewhere else in the room, and my own quiet breathing is all I could discern at this point. If I was in a hospital, it clearly wasn't a very busy or active one....

My Taste. Lemony sweet syrup and the flavour of my own previously entirely dry mouth. I clearly had been here a good while for my tongue to be so distinctly dry and uncomfortable.

My Smell. Again, mostly just the lemony syrup. There was also the distinct smell of disinfectant permeating the air of the room, as if someone had mopped up with bleach not too long before. Perhaps a nurse of janitor had been in while I was under?

My Feeling. I began a scan of my body starting with my feet, flexing my ankles and wiggling my toes while my legs remained strapped tightly to the bed just above my knees. My hips could roll slightly side to side beneath the torso strap, feeling my small pert ass cheeks pressing down into the firm mattress as I did so. Twisting my head to test against the forehead strap, I could feel that the skin of my brow was somewhat sensitive and itchy in a way that was unfamiliar. I lamented the fact I was so restrained that i wouldn't be able to scratch myself, my attention shifting to check how tightly my arms were -

"My arms...." I thought suddenly. I had been so caught up trying to remember how I had arrived here that I hadn't even noticed something unbelievably and unmistakably obvious... "I... I can't feel my arms!" The sudden realization hit me like a train, my breath picking up as I did my best to force the seemingly numb appendages into movement, getting no muscular response whatsoever. I tried shifting my hips to see if i could feel my sides rubbing against them, but discovered only the touch of more of the soft bed linen. My heart began to beat faster as panic was building inside of me, a pit of dread in my lower in my belly that grew heavier the more I struggled to get my limbs to respond. The heart rate monitor beginning to beep more frequently as I frantically struggled against my bonds, seemingly unable to loosen myself from their restrictive grasp. My eyes darted wildly in their sockets, the beep of the heart rate monitor growing faster as I felt tears beginning to well in my eyes, my breath growing heavy and deep as if I were about to have a panic attack. "H-he... HEEEELP! H-HEEEELP MEEEE!" I cried out, finally finding my voice. Spitting the straw out from my mouth I continued shouting into the unknown, my words dampened by the room around me as if I were laying in the centre of a soundproofed studio of some description. I breathed in deeply, taking in more air to fuel another round of pleading cries to nobody in particular, but paused when I heard what sounded like keys jingling in a door. I go stock still as I hear a door swinging open on its hinges off to my left, out of my eyesight. "Hello? D-daddy is that you?" I ask with a worried whine, hearing a recognizable soft masculine chuckle as the door closed behind my visitor. It was him... "Daddy! What happened to me? I-I don't know wh-what happened, I don't know where I a-am! Why can't I feel my-" my rambling is ceased as the tall man moved over my bed, a wicked smile gracing his face as he put a large finger to my lips to silence me. "Shhhhhh.... Just relax, little thing. You have been asleep for sometime now, don't strain yourself... everything will become clear with time." He explained, sitting on the edge of my cot beside me and brushing the back of his hand down my cheek. His touch was comforting, leaning my cheek into his fingers and closing my eyes gently. The beeping of my heart rate monitor began to lessen as he simply sat with me, brushing his fingers through my soft brunette hair and down either of my cheeks. "How long have I been asleep?" I ask after a number of moments simply relaxing into his soothing touch, my eyes opening to look up into his possessive gaze. "Coming up on a month now, sweetheart, I had to keep you under a bit longer than I had anticipated. Your body needed time to recover and heal..." He explained matter of factly, as if I should have known what precisely i was healing from. "H-heal? What happened to me? Why can't I f-feel my arms??" I asked, worry creeping back into my voice as I looked up at him with saucer eyes. "That is something that is better seen than explained, my little thing..." He spoke, his wicked grin growing slightly wider as he spoke. I felt that dread in my stomach returning as he slowly began unstrapping the leather that held me to the bed, starting with the ones over my legs. "I will warn you, though... I have made choices for you that may seem scary at first, but I promise in time that you will come to understand that the things I have done and the things that I demand of you will bring with them deep fulfillment... You have begun your pathway to completion, my pet. These past months have only been your preliminary steps. Now, it is time for you to fall deeper and let go..." He spoke the words directly into my face after having released the final strap across my forehead, having steadied my face between his hands as to keep me from looking down to inspect my numb limbs... "Now... I want you to close your eyes and sit up slowly. It's time to meet yourself for the first time..."

My heart is pounding as he lets go of my face, my eyes shutting nervously as I feel his strong palm slide under my back to assist me upright on the hospital bed. My muscles feel weak as I carry my own weight for the first time in weeks. I struggle to keep upright as his strong grip shifts to the back of my head, roughly taking a fistful of my hair making me whimper softy. "Open." he commands, tentatively opening my eyes one at a time. As they open, I notice I am looking at a full length mirror mounted on the opposite wall of the small white room. It is reflecting back to me an image of that instantly turns the blood in my veins to ice. My arms... My arms are gone! In their place are now instead clean mounds of flesh at each of my shoulder joints where they should be attached. My eyes go wide and I gasp loudly in shock, immediately understanding why I hadn't been able to feel them at all since waking. The man whom I had given myself to completely, My Master, joined me in the reflection as he held me roughly by the back of my head, a wicked smile across his face. It takes a few horrible moments for the shock to settle enough for my lungs to empty in terror "aa....aah...aahh...aaAAAHHHAHHHHHH!!" I cry out, the sound still hoarse coming out of my throat due to lack of use and build up of mucus. I cough and sputter as he slaps his free palm over my mouth, muffling my cries and keeping me from looking away from the terrible reality of what has been done to me. Along with both of my arms having been completely amputated, I also notice several shockingly visible and humiliating tattoos adorning my pale face and body; Across my forehead in bold black lettering it now read "COCK-SLEEVE" arching across my brow and exposed entirely by my pulled back hair. Curving under my right eye on my cheek bone, in smaller thin black letters, it now read "PISS DRINKER" and under my left it read "CUM EATER". I continued to scream into my Owners large palm ass his weight shift closer to me on the bed, keeping me from thrashing my, now armless, torso so much as the shock of what I was seeing continued to cause me incredible panic. "Shhhh! There, there little thing... It's already done, shhhhh... just relaaax...." the man speaks to me softly, gazing at our reflections as he tilts his head in closer to my ear."This has always been my vision for you, my little cock-sleeve... now we can finally explore your new identity together, shhhhhh.... just breath... you will adjust, my little pet, you will adjust... in time..." He continued in a sweetly sadistic tone, my thrashing having ceased as he leaned his weight over me and held my head firm forward. My brain barely able to process the combination of panic, horror, and loss I felt surging through my now mutilated body. I breathed in heavily through my nose in panicked breaths, my eyes bulging wide as they travel down towards the rest of my body. I notice the silver barbells going through my nipples and on the top of each of my firm, teenage breasts it read "ANAL" on the right and "ONLY" on the left. "You're my perfect little fuck toy, darling... I could hardly believe my luck when you first found me. Such a perfect and willing little candidate... You were so ready to become what I wanted you to be, even if you didn't truly understand." The decades older man spoke softly into my ear, turning from the reflection and slowly standing up from the cot, keeping a firm grip on my skull with both of his hands. He pulled me effortlessly from beneath the sheet covering my two remaining limbs, my feet dangling limply below me as I was paralyzed in shock. He carried me to mirror and held me directly in front of it while my shaky legs just barely touch the cold tile floor. "You will be mine forever now. We will mold your new existence entirely around your perpetual service to Daddy and any he shares you with... You will fall back into new identity in time, sweet thing. You will learn that it is far easier to fall back into it than to dwell on what you feel you may have lost..." The man speaks as if he were commenting upon a completed piece of artwork, as if he had been waiting years to speak the words he did with such deliberate intent. His hands adjust to hold me by the small round mounds of flesh that were once my arms, my head falling forward as he releases his grip on my hair and mouth. I let out quiet shaking sobs, my body vibrating with fear as I lift my head slowly to gaze at myself under my own power, taking stock of the remaining changes my Owner chose for me. There is a blue diamond belly stud in my navel, directly below it also read "LOCKED FOREVER" in curving, bold lettering. My eyes snap down to my vagina, observing a series of 10 tightly spaced titanium ring piercings that lock each side of my opening completely closed. The only visibly pink part of my genitals remaining is the nub of my clit stretched out above the top of the ring piercings, which is secured around its base with a tight silver ring of its own. The rest of my former opening is my pale white skin and the tight vertical line of rings. My permanently exposed little pleasure organ also has "GOOD GIRL BUTTON" written in tiny letters just above it. "Oh yes, little Cock-Sleeve. That slippery little cunt of yours will never, ever feel a single cock inside of it... That is a luxury reserved for real girls, not fuck toys like you." He growled down into my left ear, giving it a playful bite as I find the energy for a series of renewed pitiful sobs. "Don't worry, you are still able to be fucked in other ways." He whispered further, his right hand slipping from my shoulder and sliding down so his middle finger slides into the crack of my pert little ass. "You will learn to accept me here, and in the beginning the pain will serve to remind you of your place... Eventually, you will find it to be a pleasurable and rewarding experience. Especially since I let you keep this little pearl..." He said as he wrapped his free arm around my upper chest, pinning me close as the hand that was on my ass moves to my front, giving my exposed little "pleasure button" a few playful flicks .I am pouring tears down my cheeks as he holds me tightly to his chest, whimpering through blubbery lips as I feel the weight of this crushing reality pulling me downwards towards the cold floor. The hard flicks to my exposed clit making my knees buckle beneath me, yelping out in shock at how sensitive the little nub is with even the older mans light light flicking. "I c-can't, I can't, I-I c-c-can't..." I begin to gasp out, between my sobs. My much older Master simply shushes me like a parent might do while soothing an injured child. "Oh darling... What do you mean you can't? You are already doing it... it will just take time for it to settle in your heart..." He spoke as he scooped me up in his strong arms, his size dwarfing me in height as he caught me before I went fully limp and fell the cold floor. He carried my heaving little body back to the bed, laying me back into it and then turning to retrieve a needle from the medical dolly next to the IV hangar. My body squirms uselessly beneath his palm as he holds me down firmly by the collar bone and brings the fresh needle to the flesh on my left shoulder. "I know this has been a somewhat rude awakening, little one... but I promise you in time you will see that it was for the best. Now, rest easy and do your best not to dwell so much on what can not be changed... You have embarked on a beautiful and, if you will allow it, rewarding path of self discovery... Rest those pretty little eyes and let yourself relax..." He caressed my hair with his left, and with his right he brought the needle to my mound of my left shoulder. Our eyes are locked on each other as he pricks my arm with the sedative, my lip trembling and eyes leaking tears juxtaposed by his expression of proud contentment. "W-why... Why, Daddy?" I plead pathetically up at him. "Because I desired it, slave. That is all you need to focus on... You are this way because it pleases me, nothing more and nothing less... Now relaaaax" He answered bluntly, his soft petting juxtaposed against his cruel words as he pushed the plunger down on the needle. The world quickly began to slip away from me once more, part of me grateful for the slow darkness that enveloped my vision. I wanted to escape from what I now was. I wanted to go back to the girl I was before I was foolish enough to sign that contract.... As the last bit of strength to stay awake left my body, the final image I see is my Owners smiling face as he gently coaxes me backwards into unconsciousness.

TO BE CONTINUED....