I’m a strong willed feminist in real life, and my rape kink has always been a source of shame, but it’s so deeply a part of me. I finally has a dream about the deepest desires of my soul:

I was one of maybe thirty women on a boat. All of us young, maybe in our twenties. None of us seemed to knows why we were there. It was like a ferry, with benches all around the perimeter and big metal blocks that you could sit on in the middle area. We were all standing around the perimeter of the space, completely naked. A woman in a pencil skirt, and stilettos walked in carrying a clipboard and looking generally bored with all of us. She began assigning girls to various places, directing them with just a point of her pen. Three went to the benches behind her, directed by strong naked men who seemed to appear from nowhere. The girls were laid over the benches on their backs or their stomachs, and chained or cuffed in place before the men began fucking them. It was so procedural, and the women went like mindless dolls. Like they all knew there was nothing they could do. One was laid on her back, her ankles cuffed high on bars above her, almost like stirrups on an exam table. Without a word or expression the man began fucking her with smooth long strokes like it was his job - like he’s just there to facilitate a process.

I was part of the next batch. A man grabbed my upper arm and directed me forward. Two girls went before me and I watched as the men bent them over those metal blocks/seats - you know, the kind that double as storage for lifevests and other equipment. It was all so fluid and mindless - no struggle, no emotion. Suddenly i was being bent over myself, a strong hand in the middle of my back pushing me down while his other held my wrists behind me. Something about the sensation of my tits and stomach against the metal snapped me out of it - what the hell was happening, was this some kind of sick trafficking ring? Did they kidnap me? Where did all these girls come from? I looked over at the blond girl who’d been in front of me - the expression on her face was completely blank, like she’d been emptied out and just the body was left. I watched her face stay completely empty like that as the big muscly man who’d bent her over sheathed his cock deep inside her and began fucking her roughly but dispassionately. She was hurting, she had to be with a cock that size and no prep as he raped her pussy like a machine. Why wasn’t she doing anything? All the while, the process continued behind me, with more girls being directed to various surfaces around the room for the men to get to work on.

I began to thrash my shoulders against the metal beneath me - this was wrong. I wasn’t sure what but I knew this shouldn’t be happening, none of this should be happening! My struggle, though small and pathetic, seemed to catch attention. Men turned to look over, though didn’t pause their ministrations, and several girls’ dead, empty eyes looked my way. A flicker of displeasure crossed the matrons face, though she still didn’t speak a word, she just gave a pointed look over the top of her glasses. Suddenly a brutal hand on the back of my neck pinned me down, painfully shoving my face into the metal. I was so afraid and in pain, I could barely register the sounds of a second man appearing in front of me. His hand under my chin yanked my face up and, without a word, he slid his cock into my mouth and down my throat.

I was overwhelmed with it. It was the biggest cock I’d ever had, and I didn’t know how to deepthroat. It didn’t seem to matter - my throat was full of him, it was like I felt him down in my lungs. In the moment of shock when I couldn’t yet process what had happened, another cock slid into my cunt, splitting me open. I screamed. Each man began to thrust in and out of me at his own pace, and almost immediately I was just a slobbering, immobile piece of meat. There was nothing I could do, no struggle I could give. It was clear this was my punishment for being a disruption, I was being made an example for the other girls. I wanted to scream more, but every time I tried my throat was filled again with cock as the two men kept raping me in silence - not roughly, but consistently, like fucking robots. There was no passion, no sounds, no words, just the sick sound of flesh against flesh as we were all raped and brutalized. Clearly, this was the first of many a conditioning process - this is where we would be broken, where we’d learn our place, where we’d be broken in for the life ahead of us.

The men began to mill about, swapping places. When one was done, another would come and take his place. Some girls were flipped over, turned around, some cuffed and strung up from the ceiling. Some thought they’d found relief as he came deep inside them, just to have another come and start raping their throat or slapping their face. In a brief moment between, I looked around and realized it would never end - they’d fuck us around the clock, there’d always be more men to take their place. A new pair of hands roughly yanked my hips up and pulled hard on my hair, bending me back, and with zero warning, a cock sunk deep into my ass. I screamed as I was split open, then everything went black.

——————————— I can’t stop masturbating to this fantasy now. I want so badly to be tied up and gang raped, to be used like a fleshlight by so many men, offered up like a mindless piece of meat to rape. I dream of being a girl in one of those Czech brothel porns, of being raped over and over and over, until I’m not even a person anymore, I’m just a cunt with legs. Another part of it that I find deeply degrading is that the person in charge was another woman. She knew how sick this all was, but we were just merchandise to her. She didn’t care. I like to imagine that if the dream had gone on and I hadn’t submitted, she’d have gotten involved herself, having the men hold me down while she ripped my pussy apart with a giant dildo to teach me my place.

I know that wanting this is so wrong of me, but I’ve waited years for dreams like this. I’ll treasure it forever.