Hi, my age is 30 and I am looking for a partner to commit to and live with for the rest of my life.

Below is an honest story of my life, one I have never told anyone about.

About me: I am a mission oriented person who once has a dream, simply does not dream about it but makes every effort to make this dream become a reality.

When I was 14 I wanted to be a pilot. I worked extremely hard putting my health on the line. I would wake up at 5 AM rain or not and run, climb mountains and stay physically fit just as military personnel train. Education wise, I was always a failure and even came to the aviation dream, I failed miserably due to my inability to learn Mathematics beyond the basics.

After the Aviation failure at age 17 I fell into deep depression and looked at my options in life and realized that the only skill I had was photography fashion and the only industry where it was possible to make money was in Porn as I didn't know of any other areas where it was possible to earn the same amount a Pilot would make. So, I enrolled in a University that put me into a per-university program in the Business stream where I put in all my effort and for the first time in my life was getting top marks in all subjects even beating students who were a lot smarter than me. I used my the knowledge gained to create a business plan for the porn company and spent 95% of my time researching equipment, the industry etc. And only 5% of the time watching porn evaluating behind the scenes and the content produced. Eventually, I settled on two categories. Female Solo and Lesbian as I could never stand the sight of a man's penis.

The two barriers I had with plan was access and capital. Access as I am not from a country where producing porn is allowed and secondly camera and computer equipment is very expensive.

In order to gain access to a country where I would be able to set up a small studio and move forward, I would need to be a citizen of that country. So, worked hard on getting a Degree and got a job in company to gain Marketing experience as I saw Marketing as the biggest challenge in creating a profitable porn company.

By pursuing the Porn company dream it saved me from suicide, gave me a Degree, allowed me to work in an international company and work abroad and allowed explore so many hobbies from traveling and working abroad to climbing mountains, jets ski, horse riding and gosh the hobbies the list of hobbies I have gotten into is extensive. I am alive thanks to Porn which is strange because I have heard so many negative stories of how others struggle with addiction and how marriages have been torn apart.

The change in life plans: Last year I decided to give up the "Porn Company" dream and pursue my other dream of finding a women to get married to being loyal to one women for life as I have a stable job and Degree. I also don't see the point in continuing to sacrifice my time, energy and everything for something that has a small chance of succeeding. However, the challenge is my preference.

I have also only been in one relationship with a very conservative women who was a foreigner and met my criteria perfectly except for the large age gap (she was older). What shocked me was that I was incredibly loyal, committed dedicated to her and just lost all interest in porn. She was someone selfish, short tempered, strict, controlling and extremely jealous, putting her friends above and my feelings where I was always afraid of her and under tremendous pressure. it was like I had always been a person who had strong values which surprised me as I always thought that because of the amount of time spent researching porn and knowing full well, that choosing one women to spend the rest of my life with was like trying to decide what car to drive for the rest of my life, being loyal would be impossible and yet, it was the opposite, what surprised me more was the abuse I was willing to put up with simply because I loved her.

What attracted me was her smile, her long sleeved dresses that she wore and her beauty which I had no idea was all photos that were 10 years old. When we met in person where she didn't have her three hours to put on make up, she looked like she was 50 and despite being in a state of shock I still decided to love her and still wanted to marry her even through I knew she could end up ruining my life.

After the relationship ended in break up months ago, I have been in a state of confusion with a pen and notebooks contemplating and figuring things out and the conclusion is this.

When it comes to marriage, I am man who is adaptable and can change based on partner. Beyond the appearance standard of white as all the women in my country are brown and finding someone who is white is next to impossible being someone who is age 32 and can be someone I can trust and won't treat me like a slave or dog. I have no other standards. Your past does not matter and even if you are someone who is sex worker (I could be your photographer and videographer).

Chasity: I am willing to be locked up in chastity because once I am married outside of being used to satisfy my future wife, a cock's only other function is to pee and masturbation is is like cheating as it involves thinking of other women. Additionally, I feel like it help remove any insecurities my future partner has. When you want to lock me up and for how long is your choice.

Cuckolding: Despite the fact that I will be extremely loyal, I feel comfortable with having a partner who has the freedom to engage in sexual activity with other men. I am not sure why I am okay with this despite the fact that if I was running a porn company I would never be okay with a male/female sex but when it comes to marriage I am fine with it. Just have and enjoy yourself if you feel like my dick does not satisfy you enough. By the way, my cock size is 6.5 inches.

I have had sex once when I was a teenager but NO penetration and no blow job. Could I still be considered a virgin, I am not sure.

Submission: I am submissive when I love someone but not to the extent of being called "slave" or beaten or asked to kneel down in a corner. My idea of submission is being respectful, doing acts of kindness like cleaning the house while you relax, cooking your favorite meal or surprising you with a gift and doing something romantic.

I was treated like a slave in my previous relationship and after sometime, I was so scared of her that I started to overthink every decision. So, submission is good but not to the level of "slave".

If you want a man who despite the dark past is someone who is very loyal, honest, committed and loses interest in all other women and porn when he loves you and is someone who is will pursue a dream you set for him and can still be molded according to your preference of an ideal husband then send me a message and we can get to know each other better.