And that’s OK. I’m not looking for just anyone. To 99% of you reading this, I’m going to seem insane. Ill. Unhinged. I’m not speaking to you; I’m not looking for you. No offense; I’m sure you’re lovely. But I’m not here for you.
I’m here for the guy who is smart enough, ethical enough, to be afraid of himself.
I’m here for the guy who has had violent, dominating, dehumanizing non consent fantasies for as long as he can remember. Literally always a part of him. Cruel ideas and thoughts that predate his knowledge of sex, masturbation, even arousal.
I’m here for the guy who assumed no one else was like him, no one else could be into this. The guy who would never have thought a woman could have matching, mirroring needs.
I’m here for the guy who has spent decades trying to mold himself into different societal norms. Vanilla. BDSM. Kink. Tried, and failed—not in the sense of time wasted, but more that aching melancholy of feeling like he never truly fit in, never was understood.
I’m here for the guy too afraid to let people who know him know this side of him.
I’m here for the guy who doesn’t want a submissive. I’m here for the guy who doesn’t want a slave. Who doesn’t want someone to want, on some level, what he wants to do to her. Who wants his partner’s fear and tears rather than her obedience and adoration.
I’m here for the guy who finds discussing our turn-ons, the intricacies of our shared libido, almost as rewarding as our orgasms. I’m here for the guy who isn’t afraid of revealing some ugly truths together, of pulling back the curtain on feelings and memories and fears shoved deep down years ago. I’m here for the guy confident enough to want to explore them.
I’m here for the guy mature enough to know that our fantasies don’t define our realities.
I’m here for the guy who wants to be wildly impressed with who and what his partner is in all aspects, genuinely laughing at smartass jokes while enjoying knowing he’s going to turn her into a sobbing mess when they get home. I’m here for the guy who will be my partner out of the bedroom as well as in it, pressing surreptitiously on the fresh bruises turning purplish-green under my jeans or massaging the back of my neck just a bit too hard.
And I’m here for the guy who wants all the deeper stuff, along with everything above. In spite of it. Because of it. I’m here for the guy who wants to respect his partner, love her, enjoy her company, and put all the pieces back together after he tears her apart. Rinse, repeat.
I want the guy who has spent his life convinced that I don’t exist. I want the guy who is fucking terrified to find out I do exist.
I want the guy who didn’t know he was waiting for me to find him.
Come say hi. I am a challenge, but I don’t bite.
Subreddit
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- 4 months ago
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