Hey there! As the title already spoiled so rudely, I'm looking to explore the other side of the fence, as I have spent most of my time on the sub side of things. Long story short, I have very little experience as a dom, and I'm looking for someone I can figure things out with! This would be strictly online.

I'm known to ramble quite a bit, so I will write most of this post in the form of a pros and cons list, which should help keep things reasonably short, but probably still very long. However, I will also start with the cons, so you can quit reading early if there's a dealbreaker in there :)

I also took the liberty of leading with a bolted TL;DR on each point, if you don't feel like reading that much. If you're still interested after skimming those, you should probably read the rest, though!

-- The Cons --

• Very little experience, obviously. I've done some other experiments over the years, but most of that experience has decayed back to zero.

• My interest may be ephemeral. I always prefer a long term over short term, but it wouldn't be fair to claim that that's what I'm offering, because I simply can not make such a promise. Being dominant isn't very natural to me, at least it has never revealed itself to be so. Therefor, I'm letting you know early: There's a chance I will lose interest at some point. If you're looking for something super serious and long term, I'm likely not the best candidate.

• I may not be sufficiently dominant or strict for you. Dominance isn't really the driving factor for me, but rather a kinky spirit of experimentation and exploration. I don't have a very strong desire to put you in your place or punish you or otherwise exercise control over you. My interest is more akin to putting you in a kinky maze and seeing what path you take. Perhaps someone out there likes that, but I imagine this isn't very satisfying for a lot of subs?! To be clear, I am looking to exercise control over you, just not very strictly or very directly, you'd have quite a lot of influence about where things go. Perhaps too much for your tastes. Perhaps this changes with more experience, but I think you should be aware of this.

• I ask for commitment and effort. As a sub myself, I understand how tempting it can be to just lay back and let the dom do all the work, but that's very much not going to work here. Not only because I'll need your help, as I'm a bumbling fool on this topic, but also because I'm someone who requires clear communication in general. If you are someone who replies to a page with a single sentence, we are not going to work. Imagine there being another 50 sentences that put an immense emphasis on this. I will no longer entertain people who think a single word constitutes an introduction, for example. Just stop it :(

• I may not be kinky enough for you. I'm coming into this with a fairly blank slate. The kinks I'm currently looking to explore aren't very fancy, so if you're looking to explore heavy pain, degradation, TPE or what have you, I'm, of course, not your guy. Picture me more in the "orgasm control, kinky tasks, perhaps a sexy picture or a nipple pinch" kind of territory, depending on what you're into. Perhaps that gets more extreme with time, but if you're aiming for that, perhaps you should try your luck with someone better suited for it!

I think that should cover most of it. Obviously, I have a bunch of other weird things about me, as we all do, but I think my inexperience on this side of things is probably the elephant in the room. So, let's see if we can't find some upsides to it, if anyone made it down here :P

-- The Pros --

• High Effort. As you can probably see, I tend to put a lot of effort into these things. And, as of right now, I do have a lot of time to invest into this.

• Willingness to increase your safety. I feel a bit silly making this a point, but I know it's rough out there. I'm happy to work with you on anything that makes this safer for you. I have no interest in making you feel unsafe or compromising said safety in any way, so I'm happy to use encrypted apps, verify and do anything else that helps keep both of us as safe as possible, should you wish.

• Plentiful, verbose, open and honest communication. As you can clearly see, I'm fairly meticulous in my writing. I'd like to think of myself as a fairly decent writer, I'm very open, I'm very honest, and I make my intentions clear. It can be a bit much to communicate with me sometimes, granted, but there will rarely be any misunderstandings. Which, personally, I think makes this a solid pro!

• I'm told I'm quite funny. Proving this one is less easy, because this list format isn't exactly fertile soil for jokes, but it's a thing, and it's positive, so take it or leave it!

• I'm very straight forward and not here to play games or mess with you. I don't ghost, I'm not a catfish, I always reply, and I tell you exactly what I'm after. I might be a bit of a flailing idiot when it comes to being dominant, but I will always tell you as such. While that may ruin the comfy illusion of dominance, I think it's very important to be straight forward and honest about things and not bullshit each other.

• I'm very kink-creative! While I may not offer a vast selection of exotic kinks, I am more than capable of making a lot out of the ones I do offer. I'm quite fond of games, challenges, plentiful tasks and the like and, combined with my willingness to put a lot of effort into these things, I dare claim I can craft quite an interesting experience if you let me :P

• I'm patient and willing to entertain the possibility of a long term setup. As noted in the cons, I can very much not promise this. I ultimately don't know how much I'll actually like this in practice, so I'd be bullshitting you if I promised this. Nevertheless, I'm, in principle, willing to go slowly and explore things over time. I'm also willing to move faster, if that's your thing, but that may make me even more lost :P

• I'm not very picky about superficial things. I don't really care what you look like, how old you are, where you are from or anything like that, because it doesn't really matter. I'm looking for good chemistry, good communication and aligned goals. I don't really care about your experience level, either. If you're experienced, you can teach me! If you're not, we can figure stuff out together, either works!

• I have experience about how things are on your side of the fence. Since I've mostly been a sub myself, I know a thing or two about the desires and concerns on that side of the fence, at least in general terms. I'm not yet clear on how much that helps, but it just might!

Alright, some final words. As you may imagine, I don't really have a clear picture on how this would ultimately work, I think a lot of it depends on what you'd want. Personally, I think it would likely be fairly task heavy at first, as that gives me time to figure things out and get more comfortable. But the exact details we'll have to figure out together!

As to who I'm actually looking for, again, I'm not too picky. But, perhaps, some general guidelines about what I think might work best. Age wise, I think staying within the 25-40 range would be wise, because chemistry and communication tend to suffer the bigger the gap is. I won't automatically say no to a 20 or 45-year-old, but you may need some serious chemistry to make that work. Location is no issue, but time zones potentially are. I'm on GMT 2 (Paris, Berlin, Madrid, that kind of thing), so Australia or western US might be... exhausting. If you have a good reason to think it's fine, then try your luck, though. Lastly, if you are already terribly annoyed by my writing style, we're not going to mesh, ever. I am a lot less obnoxious in actual chat, but it's no orders of magnitude. So be aware of that :)

And, finally, how can you contact me? Well, the options are, obviously, Reddit chat and Reddit DM. Ideally, you'd contact me via a direct message that contains a proper introduction with some useful information about yourself. I understand that everyone only has mobile devices these days, and it all sucks, fair enough, but if I get one more "hi.", followed by silence, I am going to punch a brick wall :| Point being, if you absolutely must use chat, that's fine, but be aware that replies will be delayed and likely less verbose (because I hate typing in that damn chat window). Whichever way you choose, don't feel pressured to keep things short, I enjoy reading messages as much as I enjoy writing obnoxiously long ones, so feel free to go nuts. It'll probably give you major bonus points, too!