First: I'm a 41 year old man in a newly non-monogamous marriage. I have a 5 year old daughter, a wonderful partner, a satisfying job and an all-around awesome life. My partner and I are both queer and kinky in our own ways and have recently decided that we want to explore and enjoy these aspects of ourselves with other people as well as with each other.

So that's great! What am I looking for? Playful, exploratory, fun, hot sex, mostly. It's pretty hard for me to imagine having great sex with someone that I don't like and click with in a more-general way, but my life is very full of close friends and love and emotional intimacy and I'm not particularly looking for more. Instead I'm looking for something that feels light and free and playful and disconnected from the sometimes hard and complex realities of everyday life.

I'm quite masculine-presenting... probably moreso than I feel deep inside myself, but I'm pretty comfortable as a "man" and it's the label that fits me best.

I'm kinky, obviously -- I'm posting in this subreddit. I am turned on by power-relationships, by control, by surrender, by helplessness, by irresistibility, by obedience.

I am more interested in the mental aspects of these feelings than the physical manifestation (though they are obviously connected.... if you tie someone up, there is a physical thing happening with their body being restrained, and a mental thing happening where they allow it to occur and surrender to the consequences.)

My kink is quite fluid and I've very much a switch -- I'm turned on by the relationship rather than role, and am happy to embody either or both sides. In life I am temperamentally a warm, nurturing, caregiving-type and I think these attributes make their way into my sex-life and sexuality in a bunch of different ways.

Outside of sex, I'm a big nerd. I like books and games and programming computers and making things. In my job I make create tools and toys for kids to play and make with. My primary leisure activities are overwhelmingly family-oriented -- maintaining and enjoy our house and being with friends and playing with my kiddo, weekend travels, beach trips, museums, hiking, endless games of sparkly-unicorn-based imaginative play.

I'd love to hear from you if any of this resonates. My life is quite full, and I don't have a lot of extra space inside of it, but it would be fun to find some and see if we can make something lovely together.