Hi, and thank you for taking the time to read my post.

A bit of a warning, this might be a rather long ad as it took me a while to figure this out. As a context, i'm a married man, i'm 40, and i have a kid. So, this situation will obviously limit the depth of what i will be able to explore or what i'll be able to commit to. But rest assured, i'm very much intending to do the most i can along the availabilities i have.

Also, i'm french, so forgive me if the wording is sometimes a bit off. In terms of looks, i'm told to be rather good looking and to look younger than expected. I'm average in size and weight, i'm also lean but with some muscle (let's say, somewhat toned.).

Who i am as a kinkster :

I'm someone who has always been drawned to bdsm and kink. As a teenager, i played online regularly with strangers, submitting to cam sessions involving your typical stuff (Spanking, self-bondage, being ordered around, exposing myself, CBT, tease and denial, orgasm control, using toys, etc.) and i enjoyed those experiences very much. They culminated a few times through people i played with several times over a short period, but i never really experienced an actual D\s dynamic that lasted long enough to make it meaningful. 

IRL, i have 0 experience as a sub, but i have introduced my wife to submission, though it remains very light plays and happens only when we have a few days without the kid around. Tbh, i never managed to fully reveal the extent of my inner desires to anyone, even my wife despite the fact we still experienced quite a bunch together. Why ? because i perfectly know she's not a kinkster at heart, and i dont want her to feel bad about it or force herself in any way.

Bottom line of those experience, is that i consider myself quite knowledgeable with kink and power dynamics. I know what's needed to make it work, to make it safe, and that it's not just a "get what you need and be gone" thing.

Now, it's been years since i have effectively act as a sub online. And over that period, i've been feeling more and more the need to dive back in. I've replied to ads here on reddit, but i've never given it my whole, as i was still struggling with the ethics of searching for an outlet online when i'm a family man, with a wife to whom i should be faithful. But lately, i've been trying to nudge her toward a more dominant role, and it just isnt her thing. And i came to realize that this need i feel wont go away, and i need to find a way to indulge it to avoid the frustration to lead me into a bad mindset and bad decisions. So, that's the why of the ad i'm posting today.

Kink wise, i'm pretty open : Selfbondage, protocol, rules, position training, exposure, impact play, CBT, body writing, degradation, chastity, orgasm control, etc. You can find a complete kinklist here if you want all the details. It also includes a tab listing all the toys i own. Obviously, this is the kind of thing that needs to be talked about, so i wont dwelve on it too much : https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3UJgRUgXljTVT8CutlQODKaG5JewG1_wdYHrnJ32NI/edit?usp=sharing

What i'm looking for :

What i'm hoping to find is a connection with a like minded person, maybe even someone in a situation similar to mine. I've experienced  sessions with both men and women online and i dont have a preference, as in my experience they both were very different in their approach, and i enjoyed both.

What i expect to find in that connection is a sense of ownership. I want that person to be a noticeable presence in my life, in balance with my main focus being my family. It will surely require tweaks, trial and error, but i m sure there's room to build something interesting and fulfilling for the both of us.

This presence can come in many ways : Just talking and being in contact on a daily basis, obviously tasks, rules, live sessions, pictures. Despite having a family life, i do have some time at night that would allow me to focus on our dynamic. At work, i m very available for talking, even doing tasks or abiding by specific rules. Also, i work alone a couple of days a week from home, which allows for some decent time to dive into more interesting stuff.

It doesnt mean i will be able to dedicate all of these times to you but it emphasizes that i will be able to find the required time for a meaningful dynamic to emerge. It means that what i hope for, is to feel impatient to hear from you, serve you, being guided, praised or punished by you. 

Who i'm looking for :

As i said before, gender doesnt really matter to me. Ideally someone in a similar situation, but i'm open to discuss with anyone who feels this could be interesting for them. What might matter though is your TimeZone. I'm in France, so someone from Europe seems to make sense, though again it's not a dealbreaker if you're not and feel like our schedules might still work.

In terms of experience, i'd rather you have some, as i'm not sure a beginner can fulfill those cravings i have, nor manage to find the right balance. So i guess that also means people in their twenties might not work. Also, i'm scared i'd just feel like a boomer...

In terms of character, i'd like someone who can switch between Dom mode and a more casual persona, someone who can joke around, or talk about whatever with me and then suddenly get me to kneel, someone who wil appreciate to discover both the person and the submissive, and is willing to share about themselves as well.

Obviously, someone who will understand when life interferes, the same way i will regarding their own busy life.

It might be weird to specify this, but i m also looking for someone who will get sexual gratification from my submission, that will get off on training me, watching me. The idea of being of service is important to me, and through an online dynamic, i see that as the main way to serve, though i might be wrong there so let me know.

So, now what ?

If you've red until this point, thanks for taking the time to do so. My ad can seem like i have a very narrow idea of what i'm willing to commit to, but i'm very open about how to make all of this work. So if you feel something along those lines can work for you, that i piked your interest, just message me and we'll talk and see if we're in tune.

I've been thinking about this for a while now, and despite what my body demands, i dont want to rush into anything. I am willing to share a couple of pictures if you feel the need to see how i look, but i wont show my face, and that will remain true even if we agree to initiate a dynamic. it might change over time, but i'd rather not make empty promises.

Looking forward to talking with you. Cheers.

PS : If you're a Findom, please do not contact me.