So I'm a fan of Simon Sinek. Now if you're looking him up, you're going to find that he's a Business influencer and talks a lot about how leaders should lead...but that's not why I like him. I like him because he's an optimist. I like him because he understands being gentle shows a strength of character. I like him because he's about relationships.

One of my favorite quotes from him is..

"All you need is one person in your life who says you got this. I believe in you, and you will find courage and energy to do things that you would not have had the courage to do before.
But more importantly, that person needs to also say, and if anything goes wrong, I will be there for you. I will be there for you, and I will be in the mud with you."

There is not one quote that can encapsulate a person, but I will say this one quote puts who I want to be in someone's life very clearly. I think in kink culture...we focus a lot on the give and take. And it's there for a reason, it's a solid and simple transaction that both parties can understand. From what I've seen, there is a fatal flaw in it. Often these relationships are so short because there is no planning for growth.

The Dom gets caught up in having their needs met, they don't consider the sub needing to be nourished they always have the energy and commitment to give. The sub tries to find the perfect formula to please their Dom...but then only feels confusion as their partner's tastes evolve with their experience. This quote I think needs to the be the second step in the kink relationships. The first step is about finding and establishing the cadence. The second is commitment on both parts to say "I want you to grow because of me, not just beside me."

That's what brings me here time and time again. Why I still believe kink is a great way to start a relationship. The understanding that two individuals can share very little but a secret passion, and then bloom into something more incredible then either imagined while keeping their passion at their core.

I want to find someone I can believe in. I want you to have a passion you are chasing, that I can learn about, study, and support you chasing. I want to be the one who can give you energy to overcome obstacles, both in your mental health and your physical world. I want to be the person what you can trust that when the world ends, my arms is the place you can rest until you're ready to get up again.

And what do I need? I need someone who is the missing battery in my life. Someone who can bring giddy energy into my office in the middle of the day. The girl who can put herself in my mind enough to know when I need her, even if I can't find the words to request it. The woman who I can be proud to watch make my friends hers, but covet her time when I can get her home all to myself. I need the person who will ask the deep questions when the lights go out, and the silly questions when the drive is long. I need the little that knows caring about her in a paternal way brings me joy, and make the time to encourage it. I need the sub that offers herself because she so the satisfaction I feel from her will always be reinvested right back.

I want the partner who wants to know me, because she knows that understanding her and the way she will grow will always facinate me.

I know I should list all my kinks and needs and the normal stuff you find in these posts, but you can look at my post history and see where I'm posting to get clues on what I'm hoping to find. But even after that...if you're still curious...asking me which kink is currently on my mind is a great way to break the ice. Till then. 😉