Arthur Brooks is an amazing writer on the science of happiness. Not just what makes people happy, but the psychology and chemistry behind the feeling of happiness. You should read his book, but I'll boil down the two main points I took away from it.
1. We are not designed to stay happy. Happiness makes us compliant, and our drive to survive will always encourage us to keep moving, even if that means diminishing the feeling of happiness.
2. While we can't control staying happy, what we can do is always choose the path of happiness. As you approach your day to day life, you are faced with some many choices, and often don't reflect on which choice is really going to give us overall happiness.
As a man, I see this as amazing recommendations in living a full life. As someone who identifies as a Master, an Owner, and a Daddy...it explains a lot of why finding sub has been such a search.
Because the fact is, I don't want just one thing. There is not a repeatable path of happiness for me to follow when it comes to finding a partner. What I want one day might be different from the next.
One day I might want a partner in my life. Someone who I know is going to push me to never stop growing, and is willing to find their own equal space in the relationship. But the next I might want a companion who is going to know my needs are paramount, and that the decisions I make will always include her, even if not asked of her opinion.
One day I might want a "little girl", someone who is cute and bubbly...naive but ready to play. But the next I might want an experienced woman, who knows her purpose is pleasure and longs to serve that purpose.
One day I might want a pet, someone who will follow me around and allow themselves to fall into a life of comfort, care, and simple pleasures. But the next I might want a slave, who finds her joy in the duties she know are appreciated by the one she serves.
One day I might want to spend the day on couch, but of us with a book in hand and sharing a blanket, knowing we have dinner in the slow cooker and we can just listen to the small sounds of the house around us. The next I might want to take you shopping for a dinner outfit because I am so proud to wear you on my arm and I need the world to see just how lucky I am to have you.
One day I might want to be your confidant, someone who sees you as the powerful equal you are and knows your knowledge and wisdom are worth learning from. But the next I may was to be the Daddy you can keep close, one that is patient as he teaches and guides you.
So here I am...trying to find the person who can allow me to choose my happy path every day. I'd love to hear from you if this sounds like your map to happiness as well.