I was talking to a vanilla friend yesterday. He told me that he does BDSM, but I know it’s not true. He spanks his girlfriend, canes her, whips her, ties her up, even sews her pussy shut. That’s not BDSM unless there’s power exchange!! I tried to tell him that unless they are doing power exchange they aren’t actually into BDSM.

Then I tried to convince the poor SOB that when he does those things to his girlfriend that he’s being Dominant. He asked me if he’s submissive when his girlfriend sucks his cock. Which is obviously ridiculous. Doms are always Doms. Silly goose. He said that he and his girlfriend agree to do things together, but I said that once she lets him do it she’s giving up control. Then he said she sometimes tells him to use a different tool or go harder or softer or stop. So like maybe she is the Dominant? But he’s the Top and he decides when he does things and then so does she?!?! So maybe they are both switches and the power exchange just goes back and forth every time someone makes a decision.