Main account because eh, I'm sex positive and no longer care if people know :) (God that's so freeing!)

For many years I've had troubles during my sexual activities. Many of my orgasms felt forced or unsatisfactory.
I often felt like I had to orgasm simply to make sure my sexual partner knew I was satisfied, but this often ended up with me not being satisfied.

Let me put this first. I am male. I've heard many stories of women faking orgasms, but it's caused me a lot of insecurities that the common perception is that men ought to be the ones seeking intercourse and tend to be the ones reaching the orgasm and feeling fulfilled.

Thus I always felt like I wasn't good enough. I was very insecure that I couldn't find proper pleasure, and started wondering if I was asexual. Definitely concluding I was not, I simply figured I was bad at sex. Which prevented me from properly engaging in building relationships because I was always worried I'd disappoint.

This made me seek out BDSM as well. I noticed that I did enjoy being in control, seeing my actions have effect on my sexual partner. Be it pain, pleasure, submission, exhaustion, anything else. Whilst I didn't necessarily enjoy inflicting pain, I did love to see the after effects of said pain (red skin, whip marks, etc.) and how it affected my sexual partner's mental state.

But when it came to true aggressive dominance, I never felt fully satisfied. I would have rough sex, just to reach an orgasm when it felt forced, and never really enjoyed those orgasms. Even if my sexual partners enjoyed said dominance and aggression (never violence btw... I want to make that very clear.) I could never reach true satisfaction.

All this has brought me to the now. Recently I met a woman we'll name X. She's very sex positive as well, which is great! We are able to openly discuss and articulate our wants and desires.

We've done some sexting and phone sex, but haven't actually had sex yet. And well... She's completely fine with me not having an orgasm. Or... Hmm... I'll go more in depth about that statement later. It's the reason I am asking the question in the title.

I love nothing more than bringing pleasure to X. I can spend an hour just typing, talking, sending voice messages or whatever, just to get them to their orgasm. I love hearing their moans, hearing them enjoy themselves, hearing their talks of desire as I am telling them how to pleasure themselves or am extensively describing what I'd be doing to them. And when they reach their orgasm, and I get to hear it or see it (for now not feel it, but that'll come later) I feel almost completely fulfilled.

That is what I want, that is what I desire, that is when I am mentally satisfied.

This description above makes me belief I am a pleasure dom. I never knew of the term. X suggested it to me, after hearing my worries as I described above, and I explained what I am looking for in sex.

Now... Here's the part that's become confusing to me. Because I've been reading up on pleasure doms, and it feels like it may not be 100% a match? Yes, a lot of what I have described coincides with a pleasure dom, but there is an addendum.

You see, after I have brought my sexual partner to an orgasm, I often feel a switch flip in my head. A switch that says "Now it's my turn." and after that, whilst I still care for my sexual partner's pleasure, I will primarily focus on my own pleasure. I will use my dominance and her body to bring myself to an orgasm, an incredible, satisfying, intense orgasm.

In the current case with X, this results in me describing exactly how I'll dominate and use her. This often brings her to another orgasm.

Now.. This works for us, and I am very content with that. (Albeit I am very much looking forward to the first time actually having sex, when our calendars finally align. We've both made it very clear that's what we ultimately desire, and we have planned something, but it'll be quite some time.) But, you may have noticed I keep saying 'Sexual partners' rather than 'partners'.

This is because we're not in an exclusive relationship, which I am content with as well.

But, I am noticing that I want to learn more about what one might call my sexual preferences. Simply because if I were to meet other women, I would want to be able to clearly communicate to them what they are. Also because I want to get a better understanding of what my sexual preferences might be defined as, so I can research it and potentially bring my satisfaction to an even higher level.

Hopefully I've properly explained my situation, and hopefully someone could enlighten me more?

Cheers, Sorrol13.