If I’m not the most attractive person in the world, or in the top 5% whoever I end up with will always be thinking about what they wish they could get. Like whoever ends up with me will feel like they settled. Everytime they see a movie with Angelina Jolie they’ll envision a life where they could’ve been attractive enough to be with her. It makes me sick to my stomach. They’ll tell you you’re the most beautiful girl in the world to them, but if you both see someone more attractive in public, you’ll both be thinking it. It’s humiliating and awful and I hate it. How do you even cope with that knowledge. That partners will always see other people and realize there are many more attractive ones. I wish I was in that insane level of prettiness, where I know I stand out amongst everyone. I’m so sick of feeling average or slightly above. I’m so sick of being called cute. I think I need to get plastic surgery because I can’t keep doing this. Everytime I see a photo of myself all I want to do is isolate. Being perceived causes me too much overwhelm. I feel disgusting and grotesque and being pretty will never be good enough. I wouldn’t have been so badly bullied my entire life if I was as pretty as the prettiest girls. My experiences will always be shaped by not being enough.