Here are a few notes on my first trip: https://www.reddit.com/r/Ayahuasca/comments/ii025q/first_successful_trip/

Now it's a day later. Yesterday, after it was done, I didn't think much of it. Today, the trip is sort of continuing, like some very powerful, knowledgeable, caring consciousness is still in touch with me and goosing me along. That may be a little creeper, the way I put it, but it's not. The business. Navigating me through my shit. First of all, potent psychic attack this afternoon. I have a long history with this, so that in and of itself is an annoyance. Went well - I seem to have gotten rid of it in one round. So, I see how that can be an issue. I wouldn't have guessed either - It would have been a pretty good attack even on very high dose mushrooms and acid , and, as you can see from my link above, this was probably the minimal aya experience you could have and still call it a trip - I only tripped for an hour. Little changes I'm noticing in myself today, but I'm clearer and more focused, more assertive, can say "no" much easier - I usually hang with my friends during the day but today I told them I'm doing me time, integrating this thing, and when we got joined at "our" pub tonight by some more distant friends who I really wasn't enjoying, normally I agonize about just leaving in a situation like that, but I didn't - just got up and said later and left. And my close friends get it, that I was pretty much done there. I usually would have just stayed, out of some irrational sense of whatever. Larger projects I've got that involve several other people, but which I haven't been as much into lately, again, I put less time in with them today than usual - bowed out early - pretty easily, without the guilt I would normally feel. It's like I have this fierceness about my shit that is definitely new. And I just touched this stuff - I liken it to being in one of those military airplanes that can fly just to the edge of space, 70,000 feet or 20 miles or whatever, and I'm getting all this from just touching space.

On the topic of how there's a sentient intelligence that comes with this brew, and there are different ways of interpreting this, it took me four times to get an effect. Even on some pretty high doses - it seems, and I don't know, that the effect this stuff would have on me, and whether it would have an effect, was being managed - not before I was ready, and then just what I needed. Retched (or purged) good, which was fine. But also seems like the retching had an emotional and psychological dimension that was calibrated for me - I retched what I was ready to get rid of, when I was ready. Kind of regardless of how much I took, or maybe it just took several tries to develop some sensitivity to it, but connecting the dots with the rest of this, it doesn't seem random or just physiologically based. I'm just thinking this through, and not locked onto my interpretation - just offer it as one person's perspective at a certain moment.

Also different from LSD and psilocybin, the result from aya seem very concrete and clear. After LSD/shrooms, I'll have amazing visuals and experiences, really out there, but how it's more like an "oh wow" saw all this cool shit, and had x number of great insights, which sort of integrate and sort of slip away to some degree too, whereas this is like damn - it happened. It's day one, so I'll see where this goes, but it's a very different day one than LSD/shrooms. There's not the wow factor, it's very businesslike - this is bullshit, I'm not going to do this anymore, I want to do this, I am going to do this. No guilt, no shame, and if you love me you'll get this, and if you don't you won't. In any case, I can say that day one on aya is qualitatively different from any day 1 I've had from shrooms/LSD.

I did report in my initial post how it seemed there was a loving presence - I've never gotten that feeling from LSD or psilocybin. There's some kind of connection between my new fierceness and the caring presence - kind of like being a little kid and if you have great parents you just feel easy and safe - not the way I feel all the time. Way rocking my world.

Thanks for listening. I hope you have a great evening or day.