It's been two weeks since the break up and I feel memories of him and the relationship are fading rapidly. Trauma response?

It's getting harder to recreate an image of his face in my mind, or an image of us together. I can't remember the exact things that I found attractive about him, I can't remember the events that led up into us deciding to enter into a relationship. I'll occasionally remember moments where I initially started questioning if the relationship would work out- the subtle moments his mask would start to slip.

I remember the moments where I would question if I actually had secure attachment. I had worked so hard in becoming secure in myself and attachment with others over the past four years (we were only together for a year) of consistent therapy. Seeing glimpses of past behaviors (triggered by his avoidance) would make me feel like I was slowly regressing. I no longer feel that way and acknowledge that those moments were purely a response to the most severe of avoidant behaviors.

I notice that I'll have very brief periods of feeling like something is "missing", and that's just the shock from being discarded so abruptly.

At first I stopped missing him specifically, because I've been focusing on his actions during the breakup and attributing those characteristics to him as a whole. I don't trust the good traits he showed throughout the relationship and I'm starting to forget exactly what those traits were.

Now I've come to the point of not missing the relationship either because again, I don't feel trusting of the good times. I know they did happen but I know he never truly was present during those moments.

The anger is gone, the sadness has subsided. There's a little bit of disappointment, but it's overshadowed by relief and the realization that this was all for the best.

I've accepted that no matter how much effort I put in, how accommodating I was to his needs, how well I treated him, how patient I was with his anxieties and insecurities - I could have never changed the outcome because he could never fully commit to our connection. He could never match the effort I was putting in which made the relationship doomed to fail.

I'm becoming more forgiving of myself for missing the red flags (they were subtle), and continuing to give him the benefit of the doubt when he could not show up for me. Forgiving myself for allowing the relationship to last as long as it did. Forgiving myself for being blinded by potential and missing out on reality.

Two weeks ago I couldn't have imagined being in this place. I'm sure I'll have brief moments of feeling disappointed in the relationship, in him, but it's no longer consuming me. Maybe someone can take solace in this? It does get better.