I had the most visceral reaction to a break up than I've ever had before. We had only been together 13 months. Prior to him, I had a marriage end after 14 years! I had former partners that put in considerably more effort (however weren't nearly as sweet or gentle with me).

But this break up caused the worst physical, mental, and emotional pain I've ever felt.

Accidentally triggered him two Saturdays ago. Emotional distance from him as a response. Dumped me on Thanksgiving. Spoke to him on Sunday where he dangled reconciliation but ultimately stayed firm on his decision.

Since that evening, I stopped eating. Couldn't sleep. Threw up every morning. Panic attacks all day. Could not get a handle on my emotions -cried several times a day, sometimes with no trigger. Could not get off the couch. Simple tasks like loading the dishwasher and blow drying my hair was too much. Lunch breaks spent crying in my car. Crying on the way home. Ugly crying. Trauma response.

Three therapy appointments in seven days, with therapist checking in on me out of concern after one particular appointment (dropped the crisis line number at the end of a message). Told me to call my psychiatrist asap (already on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds), get something to help me sleep and level out. Checked in to make sure I did.

Soonest I could get a psychiatrist appointment was Tuesday evening. By the time the appointment ended, pharmacy was closed and couldn't fill the prescription.

However... ate dinner that night. Slept decently that night. Didn't throw up Wednesday morning. Didn't cry. Super focused at work.

Today (exactly one week later)- another great day, no tears. Healthy outlook. Most importantly, I don't miss him.

I feel absolutely nothing for him. No anger, no sadness. Nothing. No urge to reach out. Completely cool. Out of my system in 7 days.

He was right when he said I was a catch. Like "no one he's ever met before". I was smart. Pretty, hot. Overachiever, go-getter, well-regarded, respected, successful. That I deserved better. I knew all that before getting with him.

He was a lesson I only needed to learn once.