So I met a woman I am interested in, and eventually we get to talk about where we will go (to the friendzone it is). By some fortune of conversational turn, I get to figure out why. She likes „bad boys“ and I am nice guy (her words). I am not bummed out about the rejection, that is why I started dating, and I am fine being friendzoned, that is like... a win from where I am sitting.

What does bum me out is what it means. I will translate this weird code just quickly. She is attracted to men with self-confidence, assertiveness and good self worth. I am honest, open, dedicated and loyal, but being an avoidant, I dont do self-confidence, assertiveness or good self worth well, if at all. I am upfront about this, but being aware and sharing doesnt change facts.

This isnt an uncommon problem, many men struggle in dating for reasons of self-confidence and assertiveness. The usual advice there is just, well, dont be like that. But being an avoidant, that isnt so „easy“. Self-confidence and assertiveness does not naturally run in our tribe...

I feel screwed right now. It sucks.