I am not diagnosed with AvPD but I'm struggling with anxiety. And I don't know how to do this but I just want to vent about my avoidant tendencies and I feel like this sub would understand it more than anyone else.

I have physical symptoms of anxiety attacks but on a regular day I don't because I avoid it. I don't know why I'm like this. I feel so different around people. I hate myself for comparing me to others. I know everyone has their own issues but how can they face it? My sister she also has anxiety but I don't understand how she can still do her schoolworks? How can she still go to classes? Why can't I do that?

Sometimes I don't even recognize that I'm pulling away and already avoiding everything.

I feel so ashamed of my self. I feel like I'm the worst and I want to disappear. I've never done anything right. My groupmates are probably talking shit about me for ghosting them.

My exams are coming up and it's been a month since I went MIA & ghosted everyone. I'm gonna fail midterms. I don't even know what I'm doing or why am I doing this.

I can't open my school portal, I'm too scared to look. I can't open Ms teams and messenger, I'm too ashamed to show my face.

It's always been like this. Does this ever stop?

I'm doing therapy now for anxiety. My therapist told me I should reached out to my groupmates. But I feel like I'd rather puked my insides out than reach out.