Reached out to a few psych offices a week ago. Actually got a couple of replies. Let them sit because of course I did.

Just replied to the one with the soonest date. Two weeks from now.

Now all I can think of is how tired I am of forcing myself to share face to face - especially to a professional I have zero connection or similarity to. How tired I am of people telling me that what I went through was horrible when their eyes bug out at what I've told them. How scared I am that they'll tell me that I'm wrong. How terrified they will tell that I'm wasting their time. That I'm not who I know I am. And that I'm not worth the effort.

Gaaah maybe I should just block the whole email address. >_<

It's gonna be a long day at work. Feel a bathroom cry coming on. Can already feel the burn behind my eyeballs and I'm not even there yet.