I've had a reddit account for the last checks holy shit 12 years, and I've rarely posted.

In the last week that I've been on this subreddit, I think I've posted more than the last decade.

To those that have known for years, and struggle, still working towards to not letting this define them, I respect your strength and bravery. Even if you don't.

I don't generally feel. Ask me any day what I'm feeling, and 99% of the time if I'm honest the answer is 'I don't know'. I don't pay attention to the child in my head, screaming in their closet, unless they literally take over.

But since I've been on here, reading your posts, and feeling the need to actually reply to a few, even if I'm worried that my Dr is wrong. That I don't belong here and I'm just a poser who should be shunned (wow if anything proves that this is where I belong, I think that's it). The little screaming kid in my head hasn't necessarily shut up, but maybe become a little aware that there are other kids, screaming in their own closets. That in my desire to be left alone to scream my rage into the darkness, I'm not alone.

And now I'm rambling. Anyways! Thank you all for showing me that I am not my illness, even if you don't think so yourself. I don't know if I have the strength to fight it, but I want to try.

I don't know you. What you've done, how you act, what you value. But in this struggle you're my siblings and I love and respect you all for that.

And now I'll get off my soapbox. Probably a little overtired from spending 12 hours in a hospital and being told to stop eating solids.

Tags required..? What the heck would this fall under? Ramblings of a lunatic? Maybe progress.