I wanted y'all's input regarding the set of questions I have to work with my friend assuming they'd want to work with me and establish boundaries between us. Please let me know if there are any good questions to add or if any should be removed! I've been researching AvPD and I offered to remain friends with them after we had a conflict. Haven't gotten a response yet but if they do respond, I wanted these questions to be the next step. One person told me their experience was that they simply just go through periods where they simply cannot respond. I don't know how universal that experience is or if it is unconditional, I was considering getting rid of question 7a and 7b.

Say A for Yes; B for no.

Regardless of your answers to the questions, I am willing to accommodate. They aren't boundaries; boundaries are at the bottom. You are free and encouraged to change your mind as you see fit after you agree as long as you inform me.

Preliminary Do you want one question to be sent to you at a time?

Questions

1. I'm willing to agree not to expect responses from you until you are ready, do you welcome when I send you messages that don't imply a desire for a response like memes or TikTok videos or posts on Reddit?
   

2a. Do you want me to send only A or B questions like I am now unless you specify otherwise?

2b. If no, do you only want short messages?

3a. Do you welcome care, love and affirmation assuming you won't have to return it?

3b. Do you prefer any of said care and affirmation to be less personal? "You are amazing" instead of "I enjoy being friends with someone like you"

4 . Do you want a signal for "contact" and "no contact"?

5 . Do you want a signal for "available and have energy to communicate/respond quickly"?

6 . Do you prefer me to message you on platforms where I can't see if you have read the message?

Before asking the following, I re-affirm I am willing to not expect any response. I won't consider it ghosting if I agree to do so. If it is agreed upon beforehand that I should expect a long term/permanent break of contact to happen, then it isn't ghosting. However, it would be so if you say yes to the next question.

7a. Would you like to set a deadline for yourself to give a response so as to re-establish the expectation from me for you to communicate?

7b. Would you like me to ask if you want an extension if you go over the time?

8a. Is it possible (not certain) that you may be available to go out somewhere and hang with me if asked?

8b. Do you still want me to offer regardless of 8a?

Free response (Optional)

What makes you feel overwhelmed? What helps you feel safe?

What are triggers or things that zap your enemy that I should avoid?

What can I do to build your trust?

Is there a message limit you'd like to prevent being overwhelmed? What frequency would you prefer?

My boundaries

You must respect my autonomy. You can end things for whatever reason regardless of how I feel about it, but it's disrespectful to undermine my autonomy by assuming you should end things because "I do not deserve you" or "I don't want to hurt you" or "You're better off without me" or "You don't actually want me". I validate reasons such as "the guilt is too much for me" but you shouldn't decide things between us under the assumption that I cannot decide for myself what I feel is best for me.

Unless you need support, do not send me any direct message detailing romance or sex with other people.

If you ever have the energy or desire, ASK before initiating any sort of intimacy whether verbal or physical unless I remove this condition.

Send A if you agree to the boundaries. B if you don't.