I have met, and I'm friends with, a bunch of folks who claim that autism is good and not disabling, that they are friends only with neurodivergent people, that only autistic people have "special interests" (hobbies) and stuff like that.

I would not mind it that much if it wasn't directed towards me, when every my personality quirk (I'm a big weirdo, was socially isolated when it was crucial and have a neurological condition) is met with "oooh you are so autistic, I like autistic people" even tho I'm a complete opposite of the diagnostic criteria and of course was never diagnosed.

It has really bothered me over a long time, this lack of logic makes me feel yucky and worried for myself and actually diagnosed autistic peeps. Thus I would like to inform them that their thoughts are a bit clashing with the reality, but I never succeeded, up to the point when I was called an ableist for saying online that "diagnosing" other people is dangerous because schizophrenia and neurodegenerative conditions can be easily mistaken for autism by a layperson. With my friends it's even harder because they are mega valuable for me, and I would not want to lose them, but the situation is really uncomfortable.

Is it even possible to change someone's mind on this topic without causing a shitstorm, or my attempts are futile and my suffering is inevitable?