I (22 afab nb) have been with my partner (22m) for almost 4 years. We've been in an LDR from the start but are hoping to break the distance in the next year. He was diagnosed with Asperger's as a kid & I'm in the process of getting diagnosed. I have more sensory issues than he does & he's very good about helping with those. I do my best to help with his support needs, but will admit that I sometimes aggravate those needs instead of mitigate them. This is always unintentional & I'm working on modifying some of those aggravating behaviors. What's so frustrating is I don't get that same courtesy from him

• He needs an extremely strict schedule, but ignores the fact that I also have my own scheduling needs. Everything we do has to be on his time
• If we disagree about something, or he's wrong about something, he says I'm being mean to him or flips the script & says I'm the one that always has to be right about things
  • On a similar note, if it's not the way he would do something, it's automatically wrong
• A lot of his "jokes" make me extremely uncomfortable. I've addressed this with him multiple times but he refuses to stop because he "uses dark humor to cope"
• He has refused therapy (individual or couples) because of bad experiences when he was a kid

On the flip side, this is the best relationship I've been in. It's so refreshing to be with someone that just gets me. The majority of the time, he is extremely caring & understanding. When we're in person, he treats me like a princess. We have a lot in common & have grown a lot (both as individuals & as a couple) in the past 4 years. I just really needed a space to vent & would appreciate any thoughts/advice that anyone has to offer. TYIA <3