Hi all,

I'm about three months out from a 2 year relationship w/ someone I thought I would spend my life with, ultimately our combined (and too similar) childhood trauma lead to that being impossible. I've had plenty of relationships but not with someone else who was neurodivergent and I honestly feel she might have been autistic too. Forgive the crudeness of the metaphor, but being with her made all of life feel as rich as the first time having sex without a condom; the first regular coke after drinking diet your whole life. Besides her and my autistic best friend, I have never felt such understanding with another human.

So I'm seeking advice on how you guys might have got past situations like this in your life. She's reached out to me a few times which has just ended in more heartbreak for me. I feel like I am falling prey to hyperfocus that makes the wistful longing even harder to shake, and prevents any sort of meaningful boundary building. I find myself constantly trying to get myself on a different train of thought, but nothing is sticking.

Any input would be appreciated, thanks.