Tldr: any suggestions on parenting classes that can be done on line? I'm permissive at this point and not doing my child any favors by being so ... not authorative?

My kid is in therapy. So, that's cool, but, they have been in and out of therapy since 5 and never seem to progress within therapy measurements no matter what approach is made... I'm keeping my nose out of it at this point, because they're older and the therapist hasn't asked to talk to me, so...

They started a new school, for kids that are troubled or don't fit in regular school. They have been to three in person schools and were constantly getting suspended for things like self-harming in the bathroom or - well, this time it's distracting other students while not getting their own work in. It's an on line school with two in person days a week which are considered a privilege- so they're not really suspended but oi, we're only 3 weeks into the year and they got asked not to come back til next week. They did a strictly on line school before and hatedit, and in between all these, (after their first 4 years being at an all to permissive school,) they were very poorly homeschooled by me and their "step-mom."

About 10 months ago their dad all but abandoned them. Their "step-mom" of 8 years is a big part of it. They said they couldn't take our kid back until they stop lying and acting like a jerk. They're conspiracy terrorists and the "step-mom" (whom I once had enough respect for to refer to as just mom, or bonus mom, but now feel she's nothing but a POS) tends to Amp my kid's anxiety up with the Christian idea of hell.

I know that the idiot and his wife are trying to wait me out. I tried for a lawyer, took out a loan, wasted 7k I didn't have and got no where. We came to an agreement with the courts that he would attend therapy and work towards reunification, but that was 3 months ago.

With this inability to conform to a school specifically for the behavioral issues my kid has, I feel like I'm going to break soon.

I can't afford to miss work and I actually cannot even afford my place with the job I have now - I've been looking for a second job for 3 months and it's bad.

Anyway - I'm just rambling, but I'm actually here seeing parenting advice --- I know my kid very well. Natural consequences are pretty much the only way this kid gets anything logged into their brain. But nobody has time for that now. They need to shape up. In the last 9 months, I feel I've become waaay too permissive. The abandonment from their father mixed with exhaustion from 24/7 care after a decade of pretty much 50/50 added to chronic health issues I have - my kid is more spoiled than most.

I need some sort of parenting class, but I need something I can do when I have the time. I'm even willing to pay at this point even though money is so tight. I'm desperate for something that understands autistic and ADHD kid's, because as high functioning as my kid is, the fact is they are very much not understanding and never have been of social skills, ESPECIALLY in school.

This is all over the place... I'm just tired, boss.