Do I tell my partner I’m autistic?

20F

I’ve been with him for about 5 months and it’s going really well. His stepdad is autistic and to be honest I think he is.

I don’t fit the mainstream perception of autism and to be honest there’s about 3/4 people on earth aside from immediate family and drs that know I am. I’m not ashamed to be autistic, I just apprehend the way that people may treat me differently.

He already is apprehensive of me because I was SA’d before I met him and have subsequent ptsd. This is something that has effected our sex life (viewing me delicately) and generally being a little bit more protective than he otherwise would.

I don’t want to have a big secret and we’re moving in together soon and I’m worried he might see me never telling him as big as it could come out at any time. I also worry he’d be mad that I hadn’t told him so far. Do I need to tell him? I really see a future with him, I’m just scared that I might make things worse in not telling him.

I don’t want to be seen as ill or stupid or childlike. I really don’t know what to do. He’s tolerant and acceptant, I’m scared of being treated differently by him. And I’m scared of him telling other people.

Is it a big deal I haven’t told him? Should I tell him? How would I tell him?

My autism goes the opposite way of the traditionally understood autism, for example instead of struggling to read body language and struggling with empathy, I am ‘over’. I over analyse behaviour and body language and imagine scenarios in fear constantly and I over emphasise with people to the point I often behave differently or perhaps don’t place boundaries out of fear or guilt. I’m also a master masker if I do say so myself. But because my autism isn’t particularly the Sheldon Cooper style that we’ve been led to see as conclusive of autism, I’m worried it’ll start a whole load of questions and confusion.

What do I do!!