Often times fights with my SO (ADHD) escalate because they're reading me (autism & ADHD) to be arguing or defensive or combative when I'm just...explaining my point of view. Often it's when they're bringing up an issue with me so it makes sense that I would sound defensive but I really don't intend to and try to make an effort to choose words, tone,etc that aren't defensive but I keep seeming to fail and we keep having bigger arguments and it's exhausting. My brain can't seem to wrap arount how someone can come across argumentative when they're trying so hard to not & focusing on choosing the right words & constantly stumbling and apologizing and saying "I'm sorry, that may have sounded combative, I'm sorry."