Do I need to leave the group?

I (38f) have been diagnosed as not autistic. I scored high but didn't meet the diagnostic criteria. In a nutshell, they seemed to concentrate on the lack of hand flapping when I was a child and because I value sharing and empathy.

I've been urged to seek an ADHD assessment but I've been on a waiting list for that for 3 years already and not really in a position to go private (UK).

Despite not being autistic... stories from autistic women who spent the majority of their lives undiagnosed have given me a lot of comfort over the past couple of years while I have suspected I was as well. I've broken down in tears on several occasions relating to the difficulties autistic women face because they resonated so deeply with me.

I feel a bit lost. I have always felt like an alien in society and I thought I had found a community where I would fit in but I don't fit in here either. It feels wrong to be sad about this but I was so sure this was the answer.