so this is really specific to my experience as an autistic women. we don’t speak often about how much appearance affects your autistic experience in this world, especially if you are a woman.

so let me start my rant. i grew up very below average ugly and i grew up in norway in a small town so i was never really considered beautiful. i was also a really weird kid. so i didn’t make friends at all and got bullied. i understood my place in the social hierarchy really quickly. this affected my self esteem greatly. fast forward, i grew up started grooming myself. went through puberty, i quickly understood how appearance factors into masking when you are a woman. i started getting male attention. men would go out with me and then they would find out how fucking werid i was. so they think that im not “relationship material”. i also have a really hard time making friends cause of how difficult it is to be social and not be an alien. for a long time i relied on male attention for social validation. none of these men gave a fuck about me. it is such a fucked of thing to experience. it still effects my view of myself. i entirely confused my purpose as someone who at best was “fuckable”, at a very young age too. i am just now trying to unlearn this shit and it’s so fucking hard and so lonely, and i get so frustrated when neurotypical women try to relate but it’s not the same. i just wanted to know if any women on here can realte, and if they have any advice?