I just got back from the home of a guy I’ve been seeing for about 1 month. Things were good it seemed. Until he told me that my autism is more noticeable than he thought and that he doesn’t want to continue seeing me. He was slightly pressuring me into sex but I have been SA before so I wasn’t ready. We have never been intimate together. Im so glad because if so this would hurt even more. I am generally attractive and things are always well for me, until someone realizes I’m autistic and it’s literally a constant downhill from there. It feels so weird to know the feeling of people being interested in you and thinking you’re beautiful, then watching that person become instantly turned off by you once you disclose a disability. The look on their faces can feel soul crushing. I want to mention that I 100% understand and agree that nobody is obligated to date someone with a disability. I also understand that I am not compatible with everyone I may like. I guess I’m just venting because it still is a little reminder that something is “off” about me. I was only diagnosed in 2022. I am 24. When I wasn’t aware I had autism, I saw the world differently. It wasn’t so awkward. Now that I have a diagnosis, I walk around with my head down because I don’t want anyone to think that I’m doing something unusual or that I look or act weird. I have never had a boyfriend. It’s hard to make friends also.