I am not a stereotypically neurotypical attractive blonde skinny white girl but I really wish I was. They always look so happy and free like they have everything in the world figured out. I get so jealous of them because I want that, it looks so much easier and nice being liked by everyone and understood by everyone. They always have such great friends and everyone likes them so naturally but everyone always thinks of me as odd and weird and I don’t look like them or act like them. My sister is more like them and everyone likes her, she has so many friends. When I’ve tried to mimic and copy and mask them people think I look and act weird. It always makes me think about plastic surgery and that I just wished I could change which makes me feel bad. Sometimes I watch videos of them like their TikTok accounts and just imagine what it would be like to be them. Idk how to stop being jealous of them or how to accept myself at this point because everyday I have to attempt to mask anyways so people don’t think I’m as weird.