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For those who struggle with eye contact, what does it feel like to you?
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(Iā€™m not seeking medical advice, just providing background info).

Iā€™m at a crossroads for whether I should pursue a diagnosis, and one of the big things that comes up for me is eye contact. Part of the problem is that I canā€™t articulate what eye contact feels like to me: medical professionals have tried to lead me with yes/no questions but I donā€™t even have any internal consistency and will say something different each time because the shoe doesnā€™t fit. Iā€™ve been told my eye contact problems ā€œdonā€™t sound like Autismā€.

But since I donā€™t even know if Iā€™ve remotely communicated myself properly, I just donā€™t know if I should trust that assessment. I realized that I myself have no clue what the different forms of eye contact avoidance feel like. I have no idea if what I experience aligns with autism because the only thing I see online is that autism affects eye contact. Which is obviously not the full picture. Since I canā€™t communicate what itā€™s like for me, Iā€™d really like to see what other people describe their experiences as (and maybe then I can tell if it aligns or not with me). And since I struggle with eye contact so much, regardless, I want to learn a bit more about this symptom and am curious about other people who also struggle with it.

TLDR: I just was wondering if anyone would mind sharing their experiences, and try and describe what it feels like?

(Again, Iā€™m not seeking a reddit diagnosis or advice on whether or not to pursue testing. I just really want to understand this area of autism better so I can make a more informed decision).

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I said something sort of similar to that to the psychiatrist and was told it was social anxiety (except I canā€™t even handle looking for a few seconds). But I feel like that even when Iā€™m not anxious at all which is why Iā€™m questioning it. So many aspects of my behaviour change when Iā€™m at home vs in public / with family vs strangers, except for eye contact. (And I personally have to wonder if I have social anxiety or if Iā€™m socially anxious because I canā€™t understand social situations.)

But yeah, even then I feel like this sort of invasiveness/judgement part is only part of it for me and still not quite right. I wish I could leave it at ā€œitā€™s uncomfortableā€ because anytime I try to articulate itā€™s off or only a small fraction of the issue. I feel like trying to describe a colour to a blind person in a different language.

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5 months ago