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(Iām not seeking medical advice, just providing background info).
Iām at a crossroads for whether I should pursue a diagnosis, and one of the big things that comes up for me is eye contact. Part of the problem is that I canāt articulate what eye contact feels like to me: medical professionals have tried to lead me with yes/no questions but I donāt even have any internal consistency and will say something different each time because the shoe doesnāt fit. Iāve been told my eye contact problems ādonāt sound like Autismā.
But since I donāt even know if Iāve remotely communicated myself properly, I just donāt know if I should trust that assessment. I realized that I myself have no clue what the different forms of eye contact avoidance feel like. I have no idea if what I experience aligns with autism because the only thing I see online is that autism affects eye contact. Which is obviously not the full picture. Since I canāt communicate what itās like for me, Iād really like to see what other people describe their experiences as (and maybe then I can tell if it aligns or not with me). And since I struggle with eye contact so much, regardless, I want to learn a bit more about this symptom and am curious about other people who also struggle with it.
TLDR: I just was wondering if anyone would mind sharing their experiences, and try and describe what it feels like?
(Again, Iām not seeking a reddit diagnosis or advice on whether or not to pursue testing. I just really want to understand this area of autism better so I can make a more informed decision).
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- 5 months ago
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- reddit.com/r/AutismInWom...
I said something sort of similar to that to the psychiatrist and was told it was social anxiety (except I canāt even handle looking for a few seconds). But I feel like that even when Iām not anxious at all which is why Iām questioning it. So many aspects of my behaviour change when Iām at home vs in public / with family vs strangers, except for eye contact. (And I personally have to wonder if I have social anxiety or if Iām socially anxious because I canāt understand social situations.)
But yeah, even then I feel like this sort of invasiveness/judgement part is only part of it for me and still not quite right. I wish I could leave it at āitās uncomfortableā because anytime I try to articulate itās off or only a small fraction of the issue. I feel like trying to describe a colour to a blind person in a different language.