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Imagine wanting to buy a classic bag that you can use every day. You don't want to buy another bag for the next 3 yrs and just use that one bag so you're very careful with all the details. You did extensive research for, let's say, half a year. Finally, it's time to buy that bag, but someone insisted on buying it for you as a gift. After a long discussion, they finally convinced you that they'll buy it for you. You told them all the details and how much time, energy, and effort it took you in the process of choosing that bag. Then, when you receive the gift, it is a totally different bag. Different size, color, material, and design. Now, since you only want to have 1 bag in the next 3 yrs, you're stuck with a bag you don't want.
Edit: Let's say you can't return it or have it swapped anymore.
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This is a kind response. Yes, it is masking, but it is also taking the other person's feelings into account.
Something to understand is that nuerotypicals don't think like we do. They aren't as particular for the most part, and they don't do nearly as much research on the things that matter. They just don't.
So, although it is possible that this bag is a passive-aggressive control move, it is also possible that when OP said she wanted a specific bag, they heard "bag" not the specific part. So, it depends on the relationship that OP has with this person. If it is a positive relationship, I would give them the benefit of the doubt.
So, if you want to do the kind response, I would amend it slightly.
Buy the bag you want. Then during that couple months transition, wear the gift on and off when you know the person who got it for you is going to be there.
I see most of my in person friends once a month or so. So for me it would be like month 1-3 wear it on the day I see them. Then alternate. Month 7 would be the last time I wear it.I could wear a bag that isn't the one I prefer for an hour or 2 for 5 times. It isn't this huge sacrifice.