I'm in the first year post official diagnosis, age 38. Everybody warned me this would take time to settle, to expect a rollercoaster, etc. But I'm on the brink of divorce here (cis hetero relationship). My relationship has been rocky since having our first child, who is now 5. We have 2, youngest is 3. He claims it was bad even before that. What I think changed with my diagnosis is that I no longer feel sheepish and apologetic about my shortcomings. I'm like, 'yes dude, I know I get things wrong, I've got a fracking doctor's note to explain why, but instead of being mad about it, what are you doing to make things better?' I'm sick and tired of being scapegoated because he won't meet his own needs or say them out loud and explicitly, and then gets angry because "it was obvious". It's not obvious to me! Okay, I labelled this post advice-seeking and not rant/vent so I'll get to the point. Has anyone else been through this? Did you stick it out and weather the storm or cut your losses? Is there light on the other side? We have 2 small children, are alone in a foreign country so no family help around, he's a decent dad and I think he does more for me than I even realise, like he cools all the meals for example. On the other hand I feel gaslighted and anxious when I'm around him. I think he feels the same way about me because he can't believe I'm being genuine when I speak, literal even. He has a history of growing up with a narcissist and he thinks I'm playing mind games. I'm just confused all the time, no clue what is going on or what I've done to upset him until it's all exploding. I'm tired. Friendly strangers on the internet, do I stay or do I go?