I'm a college student, and I've noticed that going to campus is absolute hell for me every time. It's pretty well ruined my experience with higher education, to be honest.

The idea that these people have perceived me, even for a second, makes my skin feel like it's squirming of its own accord. Despite none of them looking at me, I feel like I'm front and center on stage and they can all see so plainly that I am different, and therefore inferior. I don't even feel human some days, like I'm an alien creature living amongst them and hoping to never be found out.

These people have done absolutely nothing to me, and yet I can't help but feel fearful and mistrustful of them. The entire two hour lecture I'm sitting like a statue, completely unable to focus on what's being said, but rather every little minute thing going on around me. Distractions like music help a little, but at the cost of actually learning. Is this an autism thing or am I just really agoraphobic? Both? Ugh, I'm so confused.