Between the unofficial opinion of my therapist(s), my career choice, personality, and way I handle stress, I am fairly certain I’m on the spectrum. My spouse also believes this about me after we learned so much about autism because our daughter was diagnosed with it. We have similar behaviors now but as a young child I was the opposite (developed faster).

I have an immense amount of guilt over how I feel I fail at handling my daily life of working, being a mom, wife, daughter, etc and just can’t handle it right like “everyone else.” There is a lot of time and expense getting an official diagnosis but I always wonder if it will alleviate the guilt I hold about there being something so wrong with me and my behavior and thoughts and it’s my fault. Alternatively, I worry I won’t have autism and will be scared it’s something worse like narcissism 😩😩