I keep to myself now. After consistently trying to fit in and find my crowd, I just come off as weird no matter what. Even when I’m just minding my own business, people are still so mean.

Elementary sucked. Middles school sucked. High school sucked. COLLEGE SUCKS. Enough about this “it gets better” mentality. That’s not for everyone because my autism sure as hell isn’t going away. This shit is with me until I die. This is my life, unfortunately.

I don’t make new friends. I reject people before they reject me. I stay inside most of the time. I no longer make effort to meet new people. Whenever one of my few friends wants me to meet someone because they see how lonely I am, I flat out refuse.

To me it’s better to be this way than to try and be normal and constantly fail and then have YET ANOTHER bad memory my OCD brain forces me to think about.