I don't know if this is a rant, or an advice post. Do whatever you want with this.

My boyfriend has been super great. He talks almost a little too much about loving the fact that I'm autistic and open with my wants/needs. Like has said once "I'm only dating autistics from now on" (kinda cringe but he means well).

Well we had an argument. I'm polyamorous and he is monogamous. So we settled on somewhere in the middle of that. No kissing, but rubbing is alright, no sex. Cool to me. That's the part I want more anyway.

Until I actually acted on that understanding. Then he was quite upset about how "intimate" we (a friend and I) were basically. I followed our rules exactly, and he is hurt and mad. I was supposed to also understand the "spirit" of the rule as well. And I got so tired of it y'all. I had asked him a million times, and TOLD him that I need very very clear boundaries and if I broke a boundary that was unintentional (ie: you didn't tell me about it explicitly) to tell me and I will stop.

This did not go over well at all and honestly I'm a bit miffed. Kinda feels like he is cool with my autistic traits he likes, but punishes me for the ones he doesn't. (I don't mean like actual punishment, just held to a standard I'm not sure is fair).

Sigh What do? How do I navigate this? Feeling mildly fetishized and also shamed is a weird fucking combination.

And this feels like drama and I hate drama and dramatic people. Blerg.