I met a girl in one of my university classes, she seemed nice and we had a lot of similar interests. We talked for a while and even went out to lunch a few times, everything seemed okay for a while and I was quite excited for the possibility of a new friendship. We opened up to each other and it turns out we both suspect we are autistic.

We started supporting each other and maintaining regular text conversations, something I was never able to hold with NT people. My confidence grew and I felt like maybe I wasn't this completely unlovable freak after all.

It started to go downhill when she mentioned some things about gay people. I'm queer, she's a devout Christian, and she said that she thought my being gay was a sin but "we all sin, so who cares?" I was quite put off by that, especially due to religious trauma, but I glossed over it and chalked it up to her way of being progressive despite a deeply religious upbringing.

It's when we had another conversation about autism that I knew something was off. She talked about how she believed vaccines caused autism, that Tylenol and fluoride in the water were also to blame, that she wouldn't be vaxxing her kids, etc. I just nodded along until we parted ways, I ended up crying in my car because I knew I had to let her go as a friend. I can't be around that kind of nonsense.

I'm frustrated and a little heartbroken. I want to have just a few close friends but I can't even have that. It seems like every time I get close to making a new connection it ends up not working out. No matter how much I reach out, I'm still completely alone and misunderstood by everyone. I feel like everyone gets to go out and enjoy life, make new relationships, be a part of the world, while I'm just left to watch through a window. This sucks.