Hi! Does any one here have experience with practicing ethical non monogamy?

My partner and I have discussed it a few times but they are the one who is probably a little more interested than me and has been the one to bring it up most recently. We aren’t planning to completely open our relationship or date other people consistently but we are both interested in exploring sexual and intimate relationships with other people if and when it comes up. We aren’t really seeking it out ever but agree that it’s fun to explore if crushes pop up and could make us stronger as a couple. As lesbian/non binary people it is already pretty common in our friend group to have loose physical and emotional boundaries (not sex but just touchy and rub ur friends back/friend cuddle type stuff) so to some people our baseline is probably pretty non monogamous to begin with.

Anyway most stuff has been fun and we have had a few threesomes fwb situations but I am really struggling rn because my partner wants to go on a couple of solo dates with someone. This is the second situation like this and I have agreed and we have discussed and set boundaries both times but I’m experiencing a big trigger about my social insecurities. I feel like my insecurities about being socially weird flare up in a major way cause I rely on my partner a lot in social group dynamics so being left out of something is sending me down a spiral. I feel like I am probably reacting to being pretty codependent but that’s something my partner and I are aware of and are able to openly discuss.

I want to feel fine about the date but it’s giving me so much anxiety that my partner is considering not going through with it which is making me feel worse cause I don’t want to limit them exploring their feelings in this situation. Flirting with people is a big part of how we both make connections with new friends and I like the idea of not limiting that to friendship boundaries or certain physical when it comes up cause we both genuinely enjoy that exploration.

Does anyone have advice or stuff to read/podcasts you recommend? I feel like being autistic is making this hard cause I’m starting to have major shut down feelings and can’t get my mind on anything else even though I feel satisfied with the boundaries we talked about and want my partner to go through with it. My partner obviously can’t predict how their date will go so my desire for a strict plan and everything known ahead of time is never gonna be able to be fulfilled. Solo dating just feels really new and scary for me.