Hello, I have been a commenter but never a contributor. I need to get out of the thought spiral, and writing usually helps.

Well my story arc:

weird gifted child

rebellious angsty teen with an addiction to uppers and alcohol

adulthood lead by alcohol and impulse

2020 world shuts down and forces introspection

2021 got sober and realized I'm reaaaal sensitive to the world and social interactions

2022 moved to a state with better healthcare cause Nevada had 1 Dr to choose from (an old white man) my chances for proper diagnosis were slim

FF to January 17 2023, I had a 4 hour cognitive exam.

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The results are supposed to come in today, I am flooded with so many thoughts. I don't even want to say feelings, because truth be told I don't "feel" much. I think of feelings in a logical and literal sense. Does this make me a sociopath? A narcissist?

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I have all these fears in regard to the results: imposter confirmation, narcissism, sociopathy, etc.

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I have been replaying the exam over and over in my head since the 17th. Did I give them enough information? Did I take my mask off enough? Did I answer the questions honestly or did I give answers I "thought were right".

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Anyone else that has gone through the process? Did you have similar thoughts? Has anyone taken the diagnostic test and instead of confirming ASD confirmed something else?