I have been recently diagnosed, so there are still many issues that I am struggling with, self acceptance and realizing my limits are some of those issues. One thing that I realized is that I have never been good at masking, and I spend much time in silence and observing my surrowdings to learn to be social, I have gathered tips and knowledge, but I am not able to apply this knowledge in my interactions. As a consequence I am lonely, I can spend years attending a place and make no acquaintaces at all. I enter the space alone and two year after I leave the place still alone.

Its been 6 years that I am a tattooer, I am good at it, but I almost have no clients, compared to other artist who have been working as long as me, because I can not thrive socially. And the art field in general (visual, musical, theather, literature, etc...) relly heavily in this social aspect. People mostly want to buy from those that are charismatic, simpatethic, funny, those who can talk about any subject. So I have never believed that I am able to work with art, despite beign my forever passion and interest.

I still compare myself too much with others, specially in social aspects. But that's just because they always take this social ability for granted and expect me to thrive just like them, effortless. And it's frustrating as hell, it has always been, but after diagnose I finally understand why. It doesn't lessen the frustration, but at least I am not blind anymore.