BREAKING NEWS—Four’N Twenty, the famous Australian sausage roll and meat pie brand, is being sold to overseas investment corporations, in a $700 million deal between its parent company Pattie Foods, and Hong Kong-based PAG. Chief Executive Paul Hitchcock views this as a positive move, and said that it was a “clear sign” that there was belief in the company.

This sale to a foreign company has animal rights activists concerned, in particular after the startling revelation of animal rights abuse against chickens in KFC factories in China, Cambodia and Vietnam. A spokesperson for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals stated: “With this loophole in place and exposed, who knows how the beef for our sausage rolls and meat pies is going to be sourced? For all Australian consumers know, the cows could be crowded in insufferable settings, and brutally slaughtered without regard for the animal’s dignity! Animals have rights too!”

The Prime Minister responded to the news that chickens were being abused overseas by stating “As long as Aussies get a ripper feed, I don't care. I'll kill the damn chickens myself”. SPA Senator Model-Putrid recently visited a factory in China where she claimed that “Chinese comrades have clearly found a superior way of chicken production; that far surpasses the pathetic standards we have in place in Australia”. The evidence that the ABC found as evidence of the animal abuse committed against chickens in China came from the Qinghai province and did not come from Tianjin as pro-CCP newspaper Xinhua News reported.

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said in a statement: “We are incredibly disappointed with the government's response to the situation”.

Xinhua News have declined to comment on their journalistic practices.