On Facebook Live, the stream opens up, it's grainy as it's being filmed on his phone but it comes up on showstealer1829 sitting in the speakers chair, holding the ceremonial mace

Look at me! I'm the speaker now!. ORDAH! This session of Facebook Question time will now commence. I call the honorable member for Nicholls.

showstealer gets down from his chair and walks over to the crossbench still carrying the mace

Thank you Mr Speaker. My question is to the esteemed honorable Lord Poonda. What steps will the member be taking to for rural Australians to have access to proper internet and mobile services in the midst of this pandemic lockdown?

running back to the speakers chair

The Esteemed and Honorable Lord Poonda!

showstealer then moves to the dispatch box the Prime Minister would normally speak from

Mr Speaker. I think the member for Nicholls for his question and I am thankful that he cares so deeply for rural Australians, especially in his electorate of Nicholls.

Mr Speaker, this lockdown effects us all in a number of ways, one of the most important is the fact that many families will be forced to stay apart, unable to visit parents, grandparents or loved ones during this trying time. For many, especially in the suburbs, they will be able to have contact over social media and video conferencing sits like Zoom, Skype, Discord and other popular forms of software as well as being able to stream things off sites like Netflix, Stand and Youtube.

For many in rural areas though Mr Speaker this is not the case as the infrastructure to have that high quality, high capacity streaming and video conferencing is simply not there, in some cases it is even hard to be able to connect by mobile as rural customers can experience dropouts as they try and find a tower to connect to.

This can not be allowed to continue Mr Speaker, that is why if I am elected, I will call on government, whichever side wins to increase investment in the NBN to rural areas as well as facilitating urgent upgrade of the rural mobile network to at least 4G, if not 5G. We can not allow our rural Australians, especially the more vulnerable of them to be forgotten, we must be able to have them be able to connect with family, friends and means of support remotely, this can not be done at the present time so as this crisis continues, we must endeavour to do all we can to ensure that connection can happen while still respecting the social distancing laws.

heading back to the speakers chair

ORDAH! The honorable showstealer1829

back to the crossbench

Thank you Mr Speaker and may I say the way you hold that mace makes you look incredibly well endowed. My question is to the honorable Lord Poonda, Will his Lordship point out some of the things that he has achieved during this term and what will be the key parts of his next term should he be re-elected

he heads back to the speaker chair

Before I call the Lord, as much as I appreciate the compl...ORDAH!...as much as I appreciate the compliment from my dear friend. I will have to ask him to withdraw his statement.

To the crossbench

Mr Speaker. I withdraw

To the speakers chair

I thank the honorable member and I call upon the esteemed Lord Poonda

he walks to the dispatch box

I is Pwime Minister now! shakes head Errr...I mean I thank the honorable member for his question. Mr Speaker it has been an amazing term for me in the house, not only did I get the motion into the Rural GP Crisis passed. I was able to work with government to improve a number of their policies that will help Australians Mr Speaker, things like the National Anthem Plebescite, giving Australians a clear choice for a national anthem and a say on what it should be, things like the alcohol advertising ban, which will ensure our children and problem drinkers will not be subjected to intrusive alcohol advertising on television any more

We also were able to get high speed rail back up and starting to be implemented, meaning many of our rural towns will be more accessable to tourists from the big city and drive up local economies.

However Mr Speaker. Our work is not yet done, we must see the community commission into the Rural GP shortage come to fruition as was passed in Parliament this term, we need more funding for rail, especially on the Swan Hill Line in order to reopen passenger rail services to Mildura. We need investment in agriculture and other industries to stop them from collapsing in this time of medical and economic crisis Mr Speaker.

That is why Mr Speaker I am standing once again for the seat of Nicholls, because our work is not yet done, we need to make sure our voices are heard Mr Speaker and the only way to do that is to keep the Poonda in Parliament Mr Speaker. I call on those who have put their trust in me in the last two elections and even those who haven't to put their trust in me now. Because together our voices will be heard. Together our voices will be strong and together we will make Nicholls the powerhouse it should be.

he heads back to the speakers chair

ORRRRRRRRDAHHHHHHHHH! I call upon the esteemed Lord Poonda.

back to the PM's dispatch box

Thank you Mr Speaker My question is the sounds of heavy banging can begin to be heard.....oh shit......ummmm I mean I move all questions to be moved to the notice paper like....now.

back to the speaker's chair

ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! All questions will be moved to the notice paper this question time stands adj The sounds of people yelling start to be heard, things like to get away from the chair ORDAH! ORDAH! YOU'RE ALL OUT OF ORDAH! I'LL 94A THE LOT OF YOU! This Question time stands adjourned.

stream cuts out abruptly